


Deception

by Starbird



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, And Has No Fucking Clue How Very Much He is Hated, And So Much Fun to Write NGL, Angry Sex, Betrayal, But They Don't Wanna Be, Captain kink, Deceit, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Every Day More Lies, F/M, Face-Sitting, First Kiss, First Time, Gratuitous use of R1 Quotes, Heavy Angst, Imperial Ersos, Jyn is Daddy’s Little Girl LIKE SHE DESERVED TO BE, Kay the Cock-Blocker, Krennic is Such a Douche, Krennic is an Evil Bastard, Lies, Like Most Angst Ever in My Work, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overprotective Daddy Galen, Sassy Jyn, Sex Undercover, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Undercover Cassian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-06-13 14:38:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15366825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird/pseuds/Starbird
Summary: The Ersos escaped Orson Krennic’s clutches only to be captured on Lah’mu a year later. Now, Galen is forced once again into work on the Death Star, with him and his family held against their will on Coruscant. When Jyn starts acting up and causing Galen’s work to suffer, Krennic forces her to marry his biographer Willix – in reality Cassian, undercover for the Alliance and there to save the Ersos. But to do so, Cassian has to play his part, a despicable Imperial Jyn can’t help but hate. Over time, though, she finds her hate slipping away and changing into something else -- and Cassian can’t help feeling drawn to her as well. Still, Jyn must be careful, because in the heart of the corrupt Empire, it is far too easy to be deceived…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NGL, you guys, I find the idea of Krennic being so egotistical he’d allow an undercover Alliance agent into his inner circle as a biographer, absolutely hysterical.
> 
> Anyway, I’ve been noodling over this idea for a really long time, but I couldn’t figure out a way to do it. Luckily, with the help of @haurasha and @riderunlove/[swdsnygeek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swdsnygeek/pseuds/swdsnygeek), I was able to get this going! Atm, I’m also working on [“Come to Me”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14369835/chapters/33174537) and posting [“Friendzoned,”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15257769/chapters/35391009) and “Come to Me” is my priority. ~~I’m also lowkey thinking about finally getting going on “But It Did” for[thereigning_lorelai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereigning_lorelai/works). Because that’s what I need, is more WIPs.~~ So, I won’t be able to update very regularly. But I hope you enjoy this! I know the first chapter is brief and heavy on the exposition, but it’ll get more interesting. I have a couple more chapters written after it, including the wedding. (Although I may slow the timeframe down – thanks, @riderunlove!)

Wind and rain buffeted the _Lambda_ -class shuttle around the atmosphere as it arced down toward Galactic City – or more specifically, the building next to The Center for Imperial Research and Development, where Director Orson Krennic kept his lair.

It was such an innocuous name for something so deadly, so malignant, so… _evil_.

Jyn Erso tuned out the chatter of the pilot and ground control, staring out the cockpit viewscreen and wishing this were just some foul nightmare. She had believed (stupidly, she knew) that she was never returning to Imperial Center, that her family was going to be safe on Lah’mu, that all their Imperial days were behind them and she would never have to see Krennic’s horrible smug face ever again.

Now, she was less than ten minutes away from breathing the same air as him.

Her fist clenched.

Galen Erso’s hand covered hers. “It’ll be okay, Stardust,” he murmured, eyes still forward. Jyn studied his profile, that of a man tired and beat down by the Empire, and she swallowed to force back sudden tears in her eyes. He couldn’t possibly believe it was going to be okay.

Hope, Jyn Erso now knew, was the most foolish thing in the galaxy.

\---

Orson Krennic positively _gloated_ when he greeted them at the docking bay, black-gloved hands clasped in front of him and six Death Troopers fanned out to either side of him. He didn’t even have the common decency to wipe his awful face blank. Jyn set her jaw and stared back at him.

“Good to see you again, Galen,” Krennic said. “How was Lah’mu?”

“Pleasant,” Papa said. “I was sorry to leave.”

“Yes, of course.” He flicked his fingers to shoo the four stormtroopers guarding the Ersos away, and they dispersed. Then he made a “come hither” gesture, and turned in a swirl of white cape.

The Ersos had no choice but to follow him into the building.

“How was your flight?” Krennic asked.

“Smooth,” Papa answered.

“Good, good. I would have had no choice but to kill the pilot and co-pilot had they treated you badly or given you a rough ride.”

“I appreciate your concern.”

“Of course, Galen. Only for you.” Krennic stopped at a door and put one hand on Papa’s shoulder while holding his other arm out. “Your new accommodations.”

Jyn glanced at Mama. _As hostages._

_As heroes of the Empire._

But, “Thank you,” Papa said when Krennic keyed in the code and pressed the opener, and in he went.

Now, Jyn had no choice but to follow _him_.

Their apartment was nothing short of luxurious, full of sleek modern furniture and the newest tech. It was opulent, and even more so than the last one they’d had before they’d fled with the help of Rebel sympathizers who were now dead. Hideous art hung on the walls.

“From my own collection,” Krennic commented proudly when he saw Jyn peering up close at one. “A Devois. Beautiful, isn’t it? Subtle.”

“It’s black and red and jarring,” Jyn replied. “The brush strokes are all harsh. What’s the title?”

_“Subversion.”_

Jyn snorted.

Krennic chuckled and leaned in to Galen. “Hard to find someone who shares our taste in art, yes, Galen?”

Papa dropped his bag heavily on the white couch and undid the fasteners. “I would like to get us settled, if it’s all the same to you, Krennic.”

“Oh, of course,” Krennic said, backing up. “Absolutely. Shall I have dinner sent over? You must be famished.”

“That would be most kind of you.”

Krennic nodded his head and retreated. At the door he stopped. Turned slowly. “One more thing,” he said, and Jyn could see the blood in his eyes, knew he was going for the kill. “To ensure we take the best care of you we possibly can, your lodgings will be under surveillance, and one of my troopers will be posted outside your door at all times.” He lowered his chin, keeping his eyes on the family. “Wouldn’t want something to happen to that brilliant mind of yours, Galen.” Then his eyes flicked to Jyn and Lyra. “Or to your lovely family.”

With that chilling threat in the air, he turned and left.

\---

_6 months later_

Despite Krennic’s words when the Ersos had first arrived back on Imperial Center after their capture by Krennic’s troops, he allowed them a shocking amount of freedom. Jyn didn’t trust it, of course, but he didn’t keep (visible) tabs on them. This meant that she was free to do what she wanted, even though she couldn’t trust the people she met and couldn’t talk about herself or her family. On the bright side, she’d never felt safer in her life. She knew Krennic had at least one tail on her at all times, even if she didn’t see the guy. She was in one of the nicest parts of Galactic City, and Krennic wanted nothing more than to keep the Ersos alive to do his bidding, so she had literally zero worries in the galaxy.

Besides, of course, being depressed and angry and wanting to kill Krennic every second of free time she had to herself to think. They were prisoners, and Krennic was forcing Papa to complete work on Project Celestial Power. In another year, it would be operational. It would destroy the entire galaxy with its mere existence, bring everyone to their knees, and the Empire would be unstoppable. Papa had tried to run before, but somehow, someway, Krennic had managed to find them ten months later.

It just hadn’t been enough time. Not nearly enough.

Jyn slowly walked back home after three too many drinks at a bar a few blocks over. The world spun to her right, and the air was muggy and she was hot. She didn’t care. A breeze blew, and she lifted her hair off the back of her neck to cool it as she looked over the side of the railing of the bridge she was crossing. She stopped, watching the lights flash on advertisements below. Leaning over, she pulled a hair band off her wrist and put it in her mouth while she twisted her hair up. Once she snapped the band over the sloppy bun, she grasped the railing and leaned over it again, down, down, down. Chunks of hair to the side of her face dangled in her peripheral vision. Nobody took notice of her as she leaned further, further, further…

“Hey!” a voice cried.

A hand gripped her shoulder and yanked her upright. The concerned citizen was young, a few years older than her, male, tall, with dark brown hair and brown eyes, and would be incredibly good looking if he weren’t dressed in an Imperial uniform.

Jyn slapped his hand off her shoulder. “Mind your own business,” she snarled. He frowned, and the shifting, glowing lights around them made hade his features look even sharper when he did.

“All right,” he said. His accent marked him as one of Coruscant’s elite. “I will.” He backed away from her, keeping those intense eyes on her. “I’ll see you tomorrow… _Jyn_.”

Jyn’s lips parted, and her heart thundered as she watched him go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work is not going well for Galen. Krennic reveals his plan to bring Galen in line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some people are confused because it sounds like I followed the movie and then deviated with Lyra not getting shot and with Krennic capturing them, when what I did was have the Ersos leave Coruscant later and only live on Lah’mu for a short time. Idk why.
> 
> Also, idrk about this chapter, but I really liked the moodboard I made and wanted to post it, so I posted this angsty garbage along with it.
> 
> I'm having a bad week.

The Ersos filed into Krennic’s office the next morning in response to his summons, and he looked up at them from his desk with a smile.

“Good to see you all, Ersos!” he said. He chatted with Papa for a bit, while Jyn openly took in the silent man standing next to Krennic’s desk. It was the man from the night before. He had the same frown on his smooth face, and his arms were crossed. He stared right back at her.

“Ah, well, but you know how geologists can be,” Krennic concluded with a smile at Lyra, who barely concealed her disgust. “Anyway, that is that, and I would like you all to meet Lieutenant Willix, my official biographer.” Willix inclined his head at them, a short jerk. “He has been indispensable to me these past two months.”

 _And a tail on me,_ Jyn thought, narrowing her eyes. The cold brown of Willix’s stare never wavered.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Papa said, always so polite and so good at playing his role. Jyn hated him for it, just a little bit.

“Your daughter is quite the handful,” Willix said. “Tried to throw herself off a bridge after leaving Coaxium last night.”

“I did not,” Jyn refuted, taking a step forward. Papa’s gentle hand on her shoulder held her in place. She wouldn’t jeopardize him, but she couldn’t let the lie go. “Had one too many, was interested in the sights below, lost my perspective.”

Willix snorted. “Frequenting that bar isn’t much perspective.”

Jyn’s fists clenched and she opened her mouth, but Papa broke in. “Thank you, Willix, for saving my daughter’s life. It would seem we are in your debt.”

Willix shrugged and shook his head. “The director needs your mind sharp. Were anything to happen to Jyn, it would harm your work for the Empire. We don’t want that. Do we?”

Jyn shook with rage, but she forced herself to keep her mouth closed and stand there until the family was dismissed.

Before she turned to go, though, she shot the most withering look she could possibly call up to Willix, and she thought to herself that she hoped he burned.

\---

Now that Jyn officially knew that Krennic was having her followed by his errand boy, she did whatever she wanted, when she wanted. She took risks she otherwise would not have taken. She drank and stayed out till all hours, hoping that the lack of sleep Willix was getting (on the nights he was the one assigned to shadow her) made him screw up in front of Krennic, and that Krennic would have him killed. Nothing worked, of course. Krennic doted on him same as usual, and it never mattered. And in the end, her plan only backfired.

A month later, Krennic called them all into his office again, looking displeased. Willix looked like nothing, other than his usual put-together self with perfect hair, smooth face, pressed uniform, and shined boots.

“There seem to be some problems lately,” Krennic said with an air of caring, of concern, like he really, actually gave a damn what was going on in the Ersos’ lives. Like he cared that Jyn was drinking herself to sleep each night, that Mama was crying herself to sleep each night, that Papa sometimes didn’t even come home because all they would do was fight. And when he did come home, he would just stare at the holovid with a tumbler of the finest brandy in his hand, sipping so slowly the ice melted, and he didn’t sleep.

“What would those be?” Papa asked. Krennic looked down at his gloved hands in his lap as he sat back against his desk. Jyn imagined shooting a blaster bolt straight through his head and down his spine.

“Your daughter,” he said bluntly.

Jyn looked up at Papa, but Papa didn’t look at her.

“I will talk to her,” Papa said. “I apologize, Director.”

Krennic shook his head. “She needs to be reined in, Galen. A talk isn’t good enough. She needs constant supervision.”

 _“Constant – ”_ Jyn started, but again, Papa’s gentle hand stopped her.

“I would offer myself,” Krennic said, “but I fear I would not be around enough to give your daughter the time she deserves. So, I am offering Willix to her.”

Jyn exchanged looks with Papa. “I don’t understand,” Papa said when he looked back at Krennic.

The director straightened up from his desk, and the monster within showed itself. He turned cold, calculating, deadly, as he walked up to the family.

“Your daughter is a problem,” he said in a low voice. “She is causing _me_ problems, because your work has been deteriorating in the past few weeks. She is the root of it, and I need to take steps to ensure Project Celestial Power does not get sidetracked. I’ll not let some…” He looked over at Jyn, and his mouth worked a moment. “Some barely adult brat get between me and my objective. I will do anything I have to do to protect my position and this project. Is that clear, Galen?”

“Perfectly, Director,” Papa said, and tears pricked Jyn’s eyes at what he was having to go through. For her. Because of her. She squeezed his hand.

“Good.” Krennic turned away and swept back to his desk. Willix remained stone-faced. “I’m glad you agree. Have your daughter ready for marriage by 2100 tonight.”

The entire Erso family burst out in unison. “What?!”

Krennic looked perplexed by their response. “I thought we agreed.”

“Now, see here, Krennic – ” Papa started.

“ _You_ see here, Erso,” Krennic interrupted, drawing himself up straighter, blood in his eyes again. “Either your daughter binds herself to my man here to keep herself out of trouble, or I put her under house arrest and she never leaves the apartment again. Is that clear?”

“But why? Why _marriage_?”

“Galen, Galen, Galen,” Krennic said, eyes rolling in annoyance. “You never did understand the subtleties of politics. She cannot simply be seen cavorting around with my man and not have good reason for it. She needs to _earn_ her place here. This will make it look legitimate. I’m being generous.”

Jyn’s eyes blazed, and she seethed inside as she looked between Krennic and Willix. She wasn’t surprised that Krennic never even looked at her – of course he didn’t – but Willix spent most of the time observing her, watching her. He disconcerted her in the worst way, made chills run down her spine, and she _didn’t like it_. Now she was going to have to _marry_ the kriffer?

“Where will I live?” she asked into the sharp silence.

Krennic ignored her. “Dress her in something nice,” he said to Papa before going back to sit at his desk. “And for the Emperor’s sake, have someone make her up. She looks positively ghastly.”

\---

The ceremony was short, officiated by a civil court, and Lyra cried through the whole thing. Krennic didn’t bother to come.

Lyra continued crying as staff packed up Jyn’s things and moved them two levels up to Willix’s apartment. He watched every moment of it, sharp eyes missing nothing.

As soon as the door closed behind them and they were alone, Jyn rounded on him and ripped the ring off her finger.

“I’m not sleeping with you,” she spat, hurling the ring in his face. He blocked it easily with his hand and let it clatter to the floor.

“Don’t worry about that,” he said. “I’m not interested.”

Jyn pushed past him and stomped to the kitchen. “Where’s your liquor?”

“Don’t keep any.”

“Then what use are you?”

Suddenly he was too close, and he grabbed her wrists. “Listen to me. You are under my watch now. No more sneaking around. No more drinking at bars. No more fun. You do as I say, when I say it. Expect no mercy or latitude. You understand me?”

Jyn had been trained in combat from an early age, and she easily broke his grip. “You try to touch me,” she whispered as she shook with rage, “and I will kill you.”

“I would like to see you try,” he called after her as she walked toward the back of the apartment, where the bedrooms were.

Jyn closed the door to the second bedroom, searched for a lock that wasn’t there, and then threw herself onto the bed and quietly cried into the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn runs into an old friend. “Willix” is…displeased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should mention that there is no Saw in this AU, or the Ersos don’t know him, at least.

“Jyn?”

The voice came to her out of the past, and Jyn startled when she heard it. She shouldn’t have been surprised – of course she would see him again – and yet she found herself feeling elated anyway. A part of her thought Krennic’s power was unending, limitless, and that he could get to _everyone_ she cared about.

“Corbin,” she said when she saw him, hardly daring to believe it. She stood from her table and wrapped her arms tight around his neck. He clutched her back.

“You disappeared…” he said.

Jyn leaned back and put her hands on Corbin’s shoulders, forcing a thin smile. “I’m back now,” she said. She hated the sidestep, but it was the best she could do under the circumstances. It didn’t pacify him, not that she expected it to. He still wore a frown.

“We were worried,” he said.

“Well, here I am.” Now her smile was too broad, her voice too loud. Her eyes darted around, seeking Krennic’s henchmen. “Join us?” she asked, gesturing to the table where two of her friends sat.

“No, that’s okay…” Corbin said, eying her warily as he turned to go. “I’m here with friends myself. Good seeing you, Jyn.”

As Jyn lowered herself back into her seat, she watched Corbin walk away. They were at Ilsa’s, a classy club that Jyn occasionally patronized with her friends before her family had tried to escape from Krennic. She’d been here with Corbin a handful of times.

The club hadn’t changed one bit, but Jyn had. Being here for the first time in a year and a half showed her just how _wrong_ things were on Coruscant, and it made her uncomfortable now. She’d never bought into the Imperial way of life or the rich Imperial lifestyle Krennic had offered them before, but now, more than ever, she saw the falsity of it all.

Jyn tried to enjoy the rest of her evening with her friends, but found she couldn’t after the encounter with Corbin. She should be enjoying herself as much as possible, because it was the first time she’d left the building all week.

As to the rest of the time…she’d spent it poking around Willix’s apartment, hoping to find something to use against him. It had proved useless – and she’d known that after two days. It also didn’t help that Willix frequently stopped back in or, some days, just didn’t leave. He ate lunch at the apartment, dropped by to work for an hour or two, came home early, left late… There wasn’t really much room for Jyn to do any sneaking.

She still got to spend time with her mom, though, and she was allowed to see her dad at the lab, so those two things, at least, were good. Too, she did get to see her friends, people she’d grown up with in Imperial high society that she liked but hadn’t trusted as they’d gotten older. As she’d become more aware that her father was wrapped up in something sinister and the family was being held against its will, she had begun to listen closer to her parents’ advice and heed their warnings about not trusting anybody.

 _Anyone could be a spy,_ Mama would say.

But not Corbin. Jyn had always trusted Corbin.

Jyn bid farewell to her dinner companions once it was polite enough to do so. It was getting late anyway, and Willix would want her back at the apartment. As she passed Corbin’s seat at the bar, she caught his eye, and he held her gaze for a few seconds before looking away.

She’d barely rounded the corner outside before she received a message from him.

_Meet me behind the organic grocery two blocks over in ten minutes?_

She agreed immediately and headed that way.

\---

Corbin was right on time, and when Jyn looked up to see him again, he was hurrying toward her. He threw his arms around her and held her tight to him.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured.

“I know,” she replied, hugging him tight. “I wish I could explain.”

“You don’t have to.” Corbin let go and took her hands, but when his thumbs brushed over her fingers and he felt the metal of the wedding ring, he looked down at it, then back up at Jyn in horror. “You’re married?”

Her throat closed up, and tears stung the backs of her eyes. “It’s not what you think,” she said, voice tight and thin. “It was arranged…political…”

Corbin’s lips compressed, and he bowed his head over her hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. Then he squeezed her fingers and let out a sad breath. “I waited for you.”

“I know.” Tears slipped out. She didn’t bother to brush them away, just held his hands tighter. “I don’t love him. I don’t even _like_ him. But I do have to go back to him, and soon. He’ll wonder where I am.”

“I hate to see you like this,” Corbin said, and Jyn herself hated to see the look on his face. He hurt for her, which made her hurt worse. “Is there any way I can see you again?”

She nodded. “I think so. I should be able to get away, but it can’t be too late.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes. I can say I’m meeting friends again.”

“Okay.” He opened his mouth again, closed it, and pulled her to him for a long kiss. She wished so badly in that moment that she could go with him, back to his house and easy life, but Krennic and Willix would find her again. They’d hurt her family. No one knew how bad the Ersos’ situation was, or how desperate they were to leave Coruscant and escape Krennic, not even Corbin and his family.

No one could ever help them.

\---

When Jyn got back to the apartment, Willix was sitting on the sleek modern sofa (that Jyn found horribly uncomfortable) flipping through the screen on his datapad with the holovid on. At a new report about a Rebellion raid on an Imperial manufacturing facility, he glanced up at it.

“The droids just cleaned that,” Jyn snarled when she saw his booted feet up on the low glass table in front of him. He didn’t respond verbally, but he did drop his feet down. “At least take your boots off if you’re going to be disgusting. I eat there.”

“Yes, I’ve found your crumbs on the couch cushions,” he returned.

“So kick me out.” She unwrapped her shawl from her body and hung it up on the rack next to the door, then bent over to remove her heels, steadying herself on the wall with one splayed hand. “I’m going out again tomorrow. Don’t expect me back at a good time.”

“I do expect you back at a good time.”

Jyn let her shoes thump to the floor. He didn’t seem to know about her meeting with Corbin tonight, so perhaps she wasn’t still being tailed. She’d been gone since before he’d gotten back to the apartment after work, but he had yet to say anything about it.

“I’m taking a bath and going to bed,” she said, and headed into the kitchen for a glass of wine. Willix had said nothing when she’d returned home one day with half a dozen bottles, and he said nothing when she drank it. So she continued doing it. As she poured her glass, she noticed he’d sorted her two items of mail into a little stack on the counter where she would see it – as he always did. As usual, this struck her as odd, because it was a considerate gesture, and one she did not at all expect from him. The few items of physical mail she received weren’t important items, so it would be easy for him to throw them out.

But instead…he saved them for her. Every time they came in.

Jyn ripped the mail up and put them into the recycling, then took a big drink of white wine.

“Thanks for saving my mail,” she said gruffly as she passed him. She hadn’t thanked him before and didn’t owe him anything, but there was no harm. She did have to live with the guy, after all.

“It’s no problem,” he replied, and Jyn stopped in the doorway of the guest refresher to look back at him. His words were…soft. Kind.

Genuine.

As if he could feel her staring, he looked over the back of the sofa at her. He was frowning, as he normally did, and per usual, everything about him was perfectly in place: hair, uniform, and she couldn’t see his boots but knew they were shined. A hint of stubble darkened his cheeks and chin, but otherwise, nothing was out of place – except his eyes. Jyn was suddenly struck then, as she had been before by his words, at how rich they were, at the depth she saw in them.

It was almost as if he were a real, breathing human, instead of a horrible, mindless drone working for the Empire.

He must have sensed something there, too, because he quickly looked away. “Enjoy your bath.”

Jyn drank the rest of her wine as the tub filled, and she knew the heat in her cheeks had nothing to do with the steam or the alcohol.

* * *

They met at Corbin’s apartment this time, hugging each other tight once again. But this time, after letting her go, Corbin immediately took Jyn’s face in his hands and started kissing her. Now that she was back with him again, she realized how very much she’d missed him. In some ways, she missed her previous life, too, where she didn’t know that Papa was involved in _something bad_ , that the Empire really was truly, irredeemably evil, that there was no hope out there for the Ersos. Sure, there was always the Rebellion, but all she’d ever heard about them was that they were a group of crazy terrorists who didn’t care about casualties.

 _Still,_ she wondered as she lay in Corbin’s bed, trying not to doze off, _can they be worse than this?_

The thought snuck through her mind more often than she wanted to admit. In the end, though, it didn’t matter anyway. She had no way of contacting them, and furthermore, didn’t even know where they were.

A couple hours later, Jyn reluctantly parted ways with Corbin and got in a taxi to go back home. The blissful time she’d spent with him already turned to ash in her mind as reality started closing back in on her.

The trip home felt way shorter than the trip to Corbin’s.

Jyn didn’t even bother to greet Willix when she walked in the door. He was working at the kitchen island, documents spread around him and a voice recorder playing Krennic’s hideous voice.

 _“It was then that I realized_ this _was our moment,_ this _was our time. I seized that moment, as if I were wrapping my fingers around the very fabric of history…”_

“Turn that off,” Jyn snapped as she headed to her room. She closed the door and laid down face-first on the bed, burying her face in the pillow.

She would not cry.

Her door swished open.

Gaping at the intrusion on her privacy, Jyn shoved herself into an upright position, ready to spew fire at Willix. But when she saw the cold look in his eyes and the hardness on his face, she closed her mouth. Dread started icing its way through her gut.

Willix held up a datapad, the screen turned toward her and showing what looked like vital signs. Numbers shifted in different boxes, lines changed, dots blinked. Jyn frowned.

“Do you know what this is?” Willix asked in a quiet, even voice.

“Whose?” Jyn asked instead.

“Yours.”

The answer hit Jyn dead in the chest. Her heart thudded.

“It records throughout the day,” Willix continued, moving the datapad so he could see the screen and scrolling back with his middle finger. Jyn watched in growing horror as he showed her again, the timestamp reversed to two hours ago, when all of her signs were elevated. Then he touched a box at the bottom, and it enlarged itself in the center of the screen. “Please read this out loud.”

Jyn read it first to herself, and her mouth fell open in a silent gasp. Fuming, she grit her teeth and looked up at Willix.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Did you forget how to read?”

She ground her teeth, seething with anger. “‘Analysis of Irregular Data: One: Sexual Activity. Two: Orgasm from Sexual Activity.’”

Willix blanked the screen and crossed his arms, then stared at her.

“You _fucker_ ,” she breathed. “You’ve got a tracker on me.”

He nodded somewhere vague at her body. “Your ring. Ah, ah – don’t think about taking it off.”

Jyn shot up and advanced on him. “I’m not bothering anyone, I’m not disturbing the peace, I’m not embarrassing my father. This marriage is in name only. Why does it matter?”

“It matters,” he said, not even backing down a little bit, “because _no one else_ knows it’s a sham. You were married to me so I could keep an eye on you and keep you in line. What you did tonight…does that sound like _keeping you in line_?”

Jyn was done with him pushing her around. He thought he was so tough? Well, so was she. She stepped right up to him, chest to chest, and forced him back against the wall, arms on either side of his chest.

“Jealous?” she challenged in a low voice. “Because you can’t be doing it, too?”

 _“Hardly,”_ he said derisively. “This is the last of this you’ll be doing, Jyn. I hope it was good.”

“It was,” she said. “It was fucking incredible.”

“Great – ” He moved to the side, to break her hold against the wall, but she was strong.

“Come on,” Jyn said. “You’re not angry for yourself a little bit? Because you don’t have someone waiting for you that you can’t have anymore? It’s all about your _objective_?”

He made an annoyed face. “You’re being irrational.”

This close to him, seeing how truly angered he was by this form of acting out, realizing just how attractive he was, Jyn’s mind shifted into another gear. Another way to survive. Willix clearly thought he could control her, and so far, he had. He must think she was weak, that her whole family was.

It was time, Jyn realized, that he learned just how strong she truly was, and just who he was messing with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yessssss, now we will be getting into some sexiness. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn puts her plan into action, and she and Cassian both start to work the other for information. Krennic throws himself a birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first update in many, many moons. I haven't updated anything since this one, I guess, on September 4, and here it is October 11. Sorrraaayyyy. Writer's block + meh + other writing projects. This is a longish chapter (at least for me), so I hope it was worth the wait and that you enjoy it!! <3

“Stardust, no, you can’t,” Papa said the next day at lunch. It was the weekend, and they were out at the botanical gardens when Jyn told her parents her plans.

“I’m sorry about Corbin,” Mama soothed, squeezing Jyn’s hand tight. “At least Papa’s boss didn’t have him killed.”

Jyn’s fist clenched. “I’m doing it,” she said. “If we can sway him to our side or blackmail him, we can use him against Papa’s boss. It’s the only way we can get out of this. It’s not like any _other_ people are going to help us out.”

They knew as well as she did that the Alliance knew nothing of them or their plight. Papa had never told Jyn what the project was that he was working on, but she knew it was nearing completion. The Alliance, he’d said, _needed_ to know about it, but they had no way of contacting them.

“Is Willix treating you all right?” Mama asked.

“Yes,” Jyn said, “but I can do more. I hate sitting around feeling useless.”

Now Papa reached over to pat her hand, after he’d smoothed his napkin onto his lap. “You’re doing more than enough, Stardust.”

Jyn’s fist relaxed, and Mama let go. Their food came, and Jyn dropped the topic. She knew better than to push, and besides, it wasn’t as if she needed their blessing anyway. She was an adult and would do what she wanted.

Besides. When had it ever stopped her before?

\---

Instinctively, Jyn knew she needed to start slow with Willix. He may have thought he was smarter than her, but he wasn’t, not even a little bit. She’d observed enough about him to get a good enough read on his personality (or lack thereof). No one with half a brain would trust a quick turnaround in behavior anyway, but Jyn knew she would have to play this even more slowly, and that she couldn’t use her body to manipulate him in any of the typical, easier ways. He would never fall for it.

So Jyn had to be much smarter, much sneakier.

She started, first, by ignoring him for the next couple days and secluding herself in her room. That was how she would have reacted had she not had a plan in mind, and she needed the time anyway to prepare for it. Once she deemed enough time had passed, she ventured out into the shared living spaces with him. They spoke very little, and only out of necessity, but Jyn made sure to take all the bite out of her words, and to keep the tone neutral.

Then she sat down on the sofa with him – at the opposite end from him, of course – and she opened up to him. And she apologized.

“I know you were forced into this, too,” she said. “I don’t want to make my father’s life difficult. I wasn’t trying to make anyone’s life difficult. I’m not sorry for trying to live my own life, but I’m sorry for any harm I’ve caused anyone. I’m sure you can understand my situation.”

Willix studied her for a moment as he absorbed her words. “Just as long as there isn’t any more of it,” he finally said.

Jyn pulled her bare feet up onto the sofa, where they peeked out under her long, silky bathrobe. She’d worn it before around him, never thinking anything of it, but this time, she wanted him to see her more at ease, more comfortable with his presence, maybe letting her guard down a little. She shook her head.

“I’m not sure there is anything more I _can_ do,” she admitted, somewhat honestly. “I’m a prisoner here as much as you are.”

Her effort to connect with him was met with a scoff. “It is an honor to work so closely with Director Krennic,” Willix said.

“Mm,” Jyn replied. “He has certainly worked his way up the ranks.”

“He has many years of hardworking service to the Empire.”

“Yes. I’m sure this latest project will gain him the renown he wants.”

Willix shook his head at her and picked up his datapad. “He has a great mind, the mind of a visionary. He just needs your father to carry out that vision.”

Jyn cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at him. “And what is it that he sees, exactly?”

“That’s classified. If your father isn’t telling you, then I am certainly not going to tell you.”

Jyn rolled up onto her knees on the middle cushion so that she was closer to him. “That’s okay,” she said. “I don’t actually think you know anything at all. You’re just Krennic’s _biographer_ , after all.” She let out a giggle. Willix didn’t look amused as he lowered the datapad back to his lap.

“And your father is just a pawn,” he replied. “Once this project is complete, Director Krennic won’t need him anymore. Your dad doesn’t even want to be here. What do you think the director will do with him then? With your whole family?” He smirked. “You won’t have to worry about this marriage, that’s for sure.”

Rage kindled and blazed to life in Jyn’s body, her eyes flashing and face burning. Without thinking, she slapped him across the face. Her heart hammered for a moment or two as she watched him, his face still turned away from the slap, wondering what he was going to do to her now. Wondering if she even cared.

But he did nothing except turn back to her and say, “I’m not the problem, Jyn. I’m not the one you should be angry at.”

“You’re just like the rest of them,” she hissed, hands balled at her sides. “Serving this war machine for your own gain, with no regard for other people or the war’s consequences.”

Willix laid his hand over one of her fists and gently curled his fingers around hers. The look in his eyes was… _pitying_. “Your father needs to share all of his information with Director Krennic. I’ve always gotten the sense that he’s holding out on something. If he told the director, the reward for your family would be…” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t picture the sum. “You would be given your own planet to rule, probably.”

“But we don’t _want_ that!” Jyn exclaimed. She pulled away from him and climbed off the sofa. “We just want to be left alone and to live in peace.”

“I can help you with that.” Behind her, the synthetic material of the sofa groaned as he, too, stood from it. He came up behind her, and even though they’d been just as close only a few moments ago, suddenly it felt like they were closer, now that he’d inserted himself into her personal space rather than the other way around. “I need your father to trust me with his research.”

Jyn turned to face him. “No,” she said. “My father would never part with that. You’re a fool if you think he would.”

Willix shrugged and gave her a small smile. “It was worth a try.” He nodded to the side, toward the kitchen. “You haven’t checked your mail in a couple days.”

Jyn crossed her arms and looked away. “Thanks, Willix.”

“You’re welcome. And…” He paused for just a beat. “You can call me Will.”

Jyn’s eyes darted back to him, but he wasn’t looking at her anymore. Instead, he was already moving on, simply resting his hand on her shoulder and moving off.

“Goodnight, Jyn,” he said, and Jyn turned around to watch him go into his room and shut the door.

The apartment was dark and silent. And Jyn felt very unsettled.

Very, very unsettled.

\---

She wasn’t sure how it had happened, but somehow, Willix – Will – had managed to deftly pluck control out of Jyn’s hands, turn the situation over onto its head, and tangle her up in a knot. She found herself suspicious of him, in a way, but intrigued, too, far more than she had been before. Before, she’d thought he was just another Imp assigned to do his job, who had somehow wormed his way into Krennic’s inner circle.

Now… _now_ …

Whatever Will’s angle was, he clearly had his sights set on bigger things than just the Ersos. Maybe being Krennic’s biographer was simply a stepping stone for something larger for him; Jyn didn’t know. She was, however, determined to find out. Conversation between them became slightly easier and more comfortable, and while she knew they would never be pals – they were just far too different – she was learning to tolerate him and his stoicism, his silence, and his conservative use of words. He’d even asked her along to an interview with Krennic for the director’s biography, which she’d known would be awful and then had regretted immensely. However, Will said it pleased Krennic greatly, and that she should accompany him again if there were another chance. She hated it, but at this point, she would do anything to get free of Krennic’s clutches.

Even sleeping with the enemy.

She just had to wait for the right opportunity.

\---

Jyn didn’t have to wait long. At the beginning of the next week, Will brought up the perfect chance.

“An Imperial ball,” Jyn moaned, pretending to grouse about it. She didn’t want to look too eager, lest he suspect her. “I thought I was done with those.”

Will shrugged and went back to his datapad. “Suit yourself. But Director Krennic has taken notice of your cooperation.”

Despite Jyn’s private agenda and desire to not play into any games, she couldn’t help but be curious. “What does that mean?”

Enough seconds passed while he continued reading his datapad that Jyn knew he was deliberately taking his time to answer. She refused to let him get to her, and demurely folded her hands on her knee, bent up on the couch. Then she nudged it against his. “Will?” she prodded politely.

He looked up at her, his expression almost…startled that she’d touched him. “Director Krennic has asked me to allow you a bit more freedom, at my own discretion,” he said. Weight settled on Jyn’s hands, and she looked down to see one of his hands on hers. “Try not to do anything rash.”

Jyn looked up with a growing smile. “I would never.”

Will smiled back, but his was indulgent, doubtful. “Hm.”

“So, this party,” Jyn prompted, removing one of her hands from below his to place it on top. His hand was warm and soft, so smooth to the touch. “What is it for?”

“It is Director Krennic’s birthday. He would be very happy if your family was there.”

Never breaking eye contact with him, Jyn dragged the pad of her middle finger across the back of his hand. His body twitched a little, as if he’d just suppressed a shiver.

“Well,” she said in a soft voice. “I wouldn’t want to make Director Krennic unhappy.”

\---

“Plus,” Will said when they arrived at the event that weekend, “it’s an open bar.”

“Oh, Will,” Jyn purred, grabbing him around the waist and giving him a big smile. Krennic was looking their way. “You know me too well.”

Once Krennic’s attention turned elsewhere, Will snorted and raised an eyebrow at her, gently pushing her hands away. “Try not to overdo it. He’s not stupid.”

“Neither am I. You underestimate me.”

“I would never.”

That brought Jyn up short, and she stared at him a moment. He stared back, face neutral. She had half-expected him to be mocking her. He wasn’t, though. He was serious. He… _respected_ her.

“Where’s the bar?” Jyn said through suddenly numb lips.

“This way.” Will nodded, and then he took her hand, _he took her hand and led her, fingers intertwined_ , to the bar.

“Whyren’s Reserve, please,” Jyn blurted. “A double, neat.”

Will made a face. “That stuff will burn a hole in your stomach, Jyn.”

Jyn turned to him as the bartender began pouring her drink. “It’s quality. And so concerned about my stomach, are you?”

“It looks nice in your dress.”

A slow smile spread across Jyn’s face as her eyebrows climbed. Will seemed to notice his terrible attempt at a compliment, and horror grew on his face.

Jyn finally sputtered a laugh in his face, and he fought a smile.

“Did you just compliment my actual _stomach_?” she said as she accepted the crystal tumbler from the bartender.

Will tried to recover. “I hear women are proud of having a flat stomach.”

“So you’ve noticed I have a flat stomach.”

“No,” he said, but he colored. Of all things, _he colored_. He _blushed_. This staunch, awful Imperial man, he _blushed_. “My point was,” he said irritably, “you should drink lighter drinks before you ruin your internal organs.”

“I have lovely kidneys, thank you.”

“And they also look nice in your dress.”

Jyn turned away from the bar with a smile, sipping at her drink. Across the room, she spotted her parents, fake smiles pasted on as they mingled. Probably only she could tell they were faking. They had all gotten so good at this game. She made her way over to them, but before she got halfway, Krennic’s voice boomed over the speakers.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome,” he said, and Jyn turned back around to look up at the podium where he stood. He had his arms out in a grand gesture of greeting and inclusion, his awful smile in place. The worst part about it was, he actually _believed_ his own lines. He was a caricature of himself. “Thank you so, so much for coming to my humble little birthday party. I will admit,” he continued with a bit of a laugh, “when my staff suggested I have one, I thought they must be joking! They know how busy I am!” The crowd laughed politely, but Jyn caught a few grimacing smiles and fingers tightening on wineglass stems. “I appreciate all of your many presents; it was so kind of you to bring them.”

“He couldn’t have said ‘No presents, please’ on his invitation?” Jyn muttered.

“Shh,” Will replied.

“I hope you all remembered my favorite things, and if not, that my personal friend and biographer Lieutenant Willix was most helpful in assisting you with choosing an appropriate gift.”

Jyn snorted, and Will tapped the small of her back roughly with his fingertips – which was when she realized he’d been resting his hand there. She…hadn’t even noticed.

“What’s his favorite color?” she whispered. “Please tell me his favorite color. I simply must know.”

Krennic droned awhile longer, going on long enough that Jyn finished her drink. After he wrapped up, she headed back to the bar, Will trailing her.

“You getting anything?” she asked. He shrugged.

“I don’t drink.”

Jyn sighed. “No wonder Krennic likes you. You are the perfect Imperial soldier. You might as well be a stormtrooper.”

Something passed through his eyes then that Jyn couldn’t recognize, but she immediately regretted the comment. She quickly looked away to the center of the ballroom. “Oh, a dance is starting!” she said, then regretted _that_ when Will grabbed her hand and pulled her along to where the couples had lined up. It was against decorum and terribly rude for her to drink on the dance floor, but Jyn did not care (despite the looks a few snobby Imperials shot her way). She knew the dance well – Krennic’s string quintet had started them off with a traditional one, played at every fancy Imperial gathering, which was saying a lot for what he thought of himself. Jyn wondered how many people had shown up to this thing. A hundred, maybe? Unbelievable.

When she and Willix came together and he clasped one of her hands, his other on her waist (and her other carefully holding her wineglass), he said in her ear, “You don’t know me. You think you do, but you don’t.”

“Oh?” Jyn said. They parted, switched partners for a moment (Jyn’s refused to look at her), and came back together. “Did I _offend_ you, Lieutenant?”

“Finish your damn wine.”

She smirked at him and did no such thing, taking measured sips of it until the dance was over. As everyone clapped, Will again took her hand and pulled her away, snagging the wineglass from her and setting it on a tray. They exited the ballroom out a side door and went down a corridor until he found an alcove with a large potted fern.

Then he pressed her up against the wall, his hands grasping her bare upper arms. “I told you not to pull stunts like that.”

“Stunts like what?” Jyn asked, her head a little mushy from the alcohol.

“ _You_ offended people in there during the dance. I told you the director had given me permission to allow you more freedom, but if you keep acting like this, I’ll – ”

“You’ll what?” Jyn challenged, alcohol emboldening her. She stretched up to him, pushing her face very close to his. “You’ll what, Lieutenant?” she repeated quietly. “I’m your wife. What are you going to do to me?”

His eyes searched her face for a moment, and then he let go of her as if burned. Without another word, he walked away from her and back to the ballroom.

The ride home that night was very quiet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Will talk after the party. In his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Increasing rating to M, just to be safe.

When they got back to the apartment they immediately separated, each striding off to their individual rooms. Frustration flared up in Jyn’s brain when she realized she would need Will’s help getting the gown off. Composing herself and clenching her fists briefly, she stormed over to his room and knocked on the door as gently as she could.

“I need your help, please,” she called through it. He opened it up, and Jyn was too inebriated to hide the shock on her face at the sight that greeted her: a shirtless Will. She took him in, enjoying the view of the smooth curves of lightly defined muscles, a surprise to her because not only was Will a slight man, but he was just a lackey. An office grunt. Why was he so in shape?

“Problem?” he asked, and Jyn jerked her gaze up and _kriff_ , she had been _staring_ and she _burned_ like a star exploding.

“My dress,” she said shortly, turning around and presenting him with the fasteners. He undid them slowly, and the dress parted under his hands.

“You looked beautiful tonight,” he said quietly. Jyn looked over her shoulder.

“You’re not mad at me anymore?”

“I am.”

She looked away again, frowning.

Once the dress was unfastened, Jyn went back to her room to change into her nightgown. Then she went right back to Will’s, determined to get some answers and ready to fight if she had to. His door was open.

“I don’t understand you,” she said as she walked in. He looked up from where he sat on the bed, one hand on the ever-present datapad that was now on his nightstand. He was dressed in his regular sleep clothes, plain shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. “Are you mad or are you not?”

“You broke decorum, Jyn,” Will said. “You can’t act like that.”

“Don’t you get sick of it?” she asked, throwing her hands in the air. “Decorum, rules, mores. I sure do. Aren’t you sick of this whole kriffing marriage? It’s not even a real marriage. Surely you want a real marriage someday.”

He shook his head and took the datapad off the nightstand, firing the stupid thing up.

“Put that thing down,” Jyn demanded, and her own words surprised her.

It surprised her, too, that Will obeyed.

Jyn walked further into the room and took a seat beside him on the bed. “You can’t want this, Will, any more than I do.”

“It is what Director Krennic wants,” he replied, looking her in the eye. She could detect _nothing_ in his words, his tone, or his expression. He was _good_. He should think about being an actor or a spy or something.

Jyn leaned into him. She hadn’t forgotten what her true goal was, and her heart pounded at the thought that she was finally in his bedroom, and on his bed. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be long now before she could trick him and use him to get her and her family out.

“And you?” she said. “What do _you_ want? Or does it not matter?”

“Of course it doesn’t matter,” he said. “My life is devoted to the Empire. The cause it what matters.”

“Your feelings don’t.”

“They never have. I do what I am told.”

“Even if you don’t like it.”

“Even if I don’t like it.”

“You can’t have wanted to be forced into marriage with a stubborn girl who didn’t like you and would never listen to you.”

“Of course not,” Will said. “But I did what I had to do for the sake of a much larger picture. Don’t you understand, Jyn?” His voice suddenly became earnest, and she felt…she sensed…like he was trying to tell her something. But that was probably just the booze, still clouding her thoughts a bit. _“Don’t you understand?”_ he repeated. “Nothing happens just because.”

“My mother is a big believer in the Force, too.”

He snorted. “No. I think the Force and I have different priorities. That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Then help me understand,” Jyn said, lowering her voice and leaning closer to him. The thin strap of her nightgown slipped down her shoulder, and Will reached up to slide it back. “Tell me.”

“I want to…protect you,” he said. “Keep you safe.”

“My father already has that job.”

“That’s not what I mean, Jyn. I – ”

But she cut him off with a kiss, pressing her lips tight to his, and he didn’t resist even a little bit, just breathed in deep through his nose and brought his other hand up to hold onto her upper arm. When she released his lips, he breathed out a sigh of contentment.

“Tell me more,” she whispered, eyes still closed, lips hovering by his. “Tell me what you want to tell me.”

He didn’t reply with words, just wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to kiss her again. Jyn’s heart surged, both with triumph and with the thrill of kissing. She pressed against him until he was lying back on the bed and she was over him. Immediately she deepened the intensity of the kiss, pressing her tongue between his lips into his mouth. She half-expected him to rebuff her, but he didn’t. He willingly opened up to her. Jyn ran her fingers back through his hair, wanting to touch him everywhere she could and get him addicted to her. Already Will was reacting to her, his growing arousal easy to feel through his thin shorts. He shifted his legs, smoothly moving her body away so she wouldn’t feel it, and Jyn smiled at his attempt to hide it.

As she kissed him, her own arousal rushed through her, electric and tingling between her legs. Imperial uniform or no, there was no denying he was attractive and had looked good at the party. She didn’t want to admit it, but a small part of her wanted to kiss him _just_ to kiss him, not as part of a larger plan to get herself and her parents off Coruscant and away from Krennic’s evil clutches.

And Will could kiss. Force, could he kiss. Whether it was a series of hot, quick kisses against her lips or slow, deep ones with his tongue running over hers, tasting every part of her mouth, everything about it set her body aflame. His capable hands smoothed over her nightgown, coming tantalizing close to touching her bare skin but not quite getting there. He was still controlling himself. Jyn, though, felt too good to care, and hiked her leg over his thigh, pressing her center against his hardness. Now, there was nothing he could do to hide it, and Jyn decided to let him know that. She moved up against him, making him suck in a breath, and in the same motion she forced her nightgown to rise a little higher. Each time she moved, it moved, up and up until it was bunched at the small of her back and only her underwear separated her skin from his clothes. His hands ran over the bare curve of her ass that her underwear didn’t cover, and when they got to her hem, they stopped.

His lips stopped, too.

“This isn’t a good idea,” he murmured.

“We’re married,” she said. “It couldn’t be more right.” She moved to kiss him again, but he turned his face away. The blood drained from her face, and her own arousal immediately cooled. Jyn lowered the hand that had been against his face down to his shoulder. “I don’t understand.”

Will took her hand and rubbed his thumb across the back of it, those deep, thoughtful brown eyes on hers. “I just don’t think we should. You know as well as I do that this isn’t real. Why threaten or complicate it?”

“You want to. Don’t pretend you don’t.”

He smiled a little, and his hand tightened on hers. “Want, desire, and practicality are all different things.”

“Not always.”

“I don’t have any condoms.”

“I do, plus I have the shot.”

His gaze dropped away from hers, but his smile stayed in place. “I’m flattered, Jyn. You’re a beautiful woman. I’m sure you could have anyone you wanted. In another universe, another time, if we were different people, maybe, but…this, right now, with me, is something you would regret.”

Jyn jerked her hand out of his. “Don’t tell me how to think.”

“I would never.” Will looked up at her again, and his fingers brushed hair back from her face. He sighed, as if he didn’t have any more words to offer her. Jyn got off of him, none too gently, and stood up.

“Well,” she said, repositioning her clothes, “I’ll just go back to my room, then. You don’t want me sleeping with other men, but you don’t want me sleeping with you, my supposed husband, either. Not sure where that leaves me.”

“I don’t know, either.”

She cut her eyes to him to find him sitting up on the side of the bed, focusing on the ground, arms posted up straight.

“I guess you’re right, though,” he continued. “I don’t own you, and we’re married in nothing but name. I don’t expect any sort of affection from you, or any sort of loyalty. You can sleep with whomever you want, as long as you’re discreet. Just don’t get either of us in trouble.”

“Thank you,” she said, but it didn’t make her feel any better. Instead, she still felt rejected, and cold. One fist was still clenched. When he didn’t say anything more, Jyn turned to go.

“All I ask,” he said from behind her as she was just about to cross the threshold into the dark living room, “is that you trust me to watch out for you as I have been tasked. Nothing more.”

Jyn paused, turned her head over her shoulder, and waited for him to say more. But he didn’t, and she returned to her room, alone and unsettled.


	6. Cassian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian reflects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, since so many of you asked for it, here’s Cassian’s POV. :)
> 
> *grumble* Not entirely sure I’m happy with it, but… *grumble*

_This isn’t real. None of this is real._

Cassian Andor covered his face with his hands and lay back on the bed, letting out a quiet breath. He was more tired than usual tonight, from the strain of performing at Krennic’s party in front of so many other people. Other Imperials. Other enemies. His mind wouldn’t focus on what he needed it to focus on. Instead, it kept wandering to her.

Her. Jyn Erso.

His… _wife_.

The cool metal of his wedding band pressed against his browbone, and Cassian pulled his hand away to look at it. He cursed the damn thing and the complications it had brought to the mission. General Draven had all but had an aneurysm. Mon Mothma had slid her eyes away, her face blank, but she looked somewhat bemused – whether by Draven’s reaction or Cassian’s ridiculous situation, he couldn’t be sure. All he knew was that he hated Krennic now more than ever. He was supposed to get in, get close to the bastard, get as much information from him as he could, and find a way to get the Ersos out. _Fast._ But Jyn had shown her penchant for causing trouble early on, and so Krennic had forced them into this marriage. It was disturbingly official, too, with documentation and everything. It was as real as real.

It wasn’t so bad now, Cassian had to concede as he got under the covers and switched off his lamp. He’d been as mad as Jyn had about it, albeit for different reasons: he did _not_ need someone around all the time, getting in the way of his mission. Understandably, Jyn was furious about having her liberties violated. Cassian would have been, too, except it was _Willix_ who was married to her, not Cassian Andor. He was annoyed about it inasmuch as it affected his goal.

_You might as well be a stormtrooper._

Jyn was right about that. While she didn’t know who Cassian truly was, she was right that he was doing what he was told, and would continue to do it. The cause came first, just as he had told her. And this stupid marriage, well, what did it matter in the end, really, when he didn’t have to bother with the Ersos and would just move on to the next assignment after they were safely back at Base One? The Alliance would stop the planet-killer, and that would be the end of his involvement. He’d keep fighting the Empire, and die alone in an alley as he always expected.

The light in Jyn’s room shut off. Her door slid quietly closed. Cassian willed himself to sleep, trying to forget the memory of her lips against his, her body against his, her skin under his fingertips, the way she made him feel when it had been _so long_ … And it wasn’t just that. It wasn’t just touch-starvation that made him yearn for her. It was that Jyn was smart and capable and independent and beautiful and tough and strong and…

He’d allowed himself to get carried away. He shouldn’t have let her kiss him. He shouldn’t have kissed her back. She made it difficult for him to maintain perspective on the mission and keep to his goals. She made him…

Want things he couldn’t have. Wish he were someone else. Hate himself more than usual for being far too human.

Cassian blocked the memory from his mind, even as it tingled throughout his warm body. He would not let this continue any farther. He would not fall for her. He’d never fallen for _anybody_ , and he wasn’t about to start now.

All he needed to do was get the Ersos out, and that was it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn is confused and hurt. She has a talk with Lyra, then decides that what she needs is a night out to fix things. It goes badly wrong, and Will can't help admitting that he cares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a _Solo Quiero Caminar_ -inspired scene in this one. And a big fat chapter!
> 
> Dedicated to my writing buddy [ephemera(incognitajones)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/incognitajones/pseuds/ephemera/works?fandom_id=9162187) for the buddy-writing session that helped me get through this chapter!! <3

They didn’t talk about it. Instead, they carried on like usual, only Will made sure not to touch Jyn. He was colder, more distant, the way he’d been when they’d first started living together.

It hurt, and Jyn _hated_ that it hurt.

“You look so sad,” Mama said over tea a few days after the party. Will no longer kept tabs on her anymore, at least, and let her do what she liked. “You remind me of how I look every day I look into the mirror.”

“I’m sorry, Mama,” Jyn said, setting her teacup down and smiling. They were in the Ersos’ apartment in the middle of the afternoon, reclining on the comfortable furniture Krennic had provided. Jyn wondered how much she could reveal in this surveilled space, decided it didn’t matter. “I, um… Willix…Will…we’re getting along well now and…I guess I’m just a little confused.”

“I’m glad to hear things are going better,” Mama said, “but not happy you’re confused. What about?”

Jyn frowned and shook her head, staring into the pale amber liquid of her cup. “I…don’t know. I don’t have any reason to be. I know why he’s acting the way he is, and why I’m acting the way I am, but…it’s like all the reasons have changed. He seems…” She trailed off, ever aware of the cameras. She had to try a different tack. “Will takes his job very seriously,” she said, looking Mama straight in the eye. “He wants to watch out for all of us. Make sure we’re doing the right thing. I am just very grateful Krennic has seen fit to do this for us.”

Later, Jyn excused herself to go to the ’fresher (no cameras, thankfully), and took her handbag with her. In it she had flimsy and a pen, and she quickly jotted a note to her mother explaining the odd comment. _Will wants me to trust him. I don’t know why or what about. But I think he wants to keep our family safe somehow._

She folded it up and kept it in her palm, so that when she hugged Mama goodbye, she easily slipped her the note. When she returned to her apartment, she felt exhausted for some reason and lay down for a nap.

Maybe tonight she would go out for a drink at the old bars like she used to. Resurrect the old times that had made her so happy. Will’s rejection of her hurt in a stupid way that it absolutely should not have, especially given that she was trying to use _him_ , and she needed to take back control. She’d contact some friends, see who was around, and go out for a good time.

That, she thought as she began to drift off, should fix everything. It always had.

\---

Once again, Jyn found herself too many drinks in and needing to sober up before she headed back home. Yes, Will had been giving her a lot more latitude in recent days, and while that didn’t mean she felt she owed him anything, she didn’t want to strain, or ruin, the tenuous trust between them. The hours passed, and even though Jyn kept food in her stomach and drank as much water as she could, it still took time to sober up. When she was finally in a state where she felt safe enough to walk home, it wasn’t a safe hour – even in this part of Coruscant.

Still, she didn’t expect to be followed.

 _Should’ve taken a cab,_ she chastised herself furiously as she increased her pace. What little was left of her tipsiness immediately dissolved, and she became hyperaware of her surroundings and every sound. Footsteps echoed too close behind her, and she darted down another street, hoping to lose her pursuer. But soon more footsteps joined the first, and her breath bit into her chest. She knew how to fight, but not well enough.

And now she was lost.

Frantically, she stopped and scanned the signs, trying to figure out which way would get her home. She thrust her hand into her purse to press the emergency button on her comlink, but she was too late. Someone attacked her from that side, knocking her to the duracrete and ripping her purse from her shoulder.

“Out a little late, are we, rich girl?” he said, opening the bag up and riffling through it. He immediately swiped all of her cards and credits, along with a pair of earrings. His two partners walked up, blocking Jyn in. She looked up at them from the ground with a glare.

“You lot might want to kriff off,” she said. “My family are held in high regard here.”

The one closest to her snorted and kicked out, hitting her in the temple and knocking her down again. “You say that like we care.”

“Search her,” ordered the leader. “Take everything of value.”

They pulled her earrings out of her ears, took her bracelets, her shoes. All things that would fetch them a whole lot of credits. They wouldn’t need to mug someone for another month, with what they’d gotten off her.

“Now,” the leader said, arms crossed, pacing in front of her where she sat on the ground with her fists clenched. “What do we do with you?”

Jyn had thought about this – the end – a lot, since coming back to Imperial Center. But this was not the way she wanted it to go. She hated living here, she hated being Krennic’s prisoner, she hated what Krennic was making Papa do, and she didn’t like being Will’s wife – but she didn’t _hate_ it. So far, he was the only good thing that had come out of this (that, and the fact that her family was still together). But now, staring down the three muscled men, blood running down her face, she did wish they’d just end it. It was her fault things were harder on Papa anyway. Her fault she was “married” to Will. Her fault she wasn’t still living with her parents. Being gone forever wouldn’t solve that problem, of course, but the pain she lived in every day, the misery…

Jyn shook her head clear of the thoughts, and she snarled, “You’ll never win.” But the leader just chuckled – he knew she didn’t have any weapons on her except the vibroblade he’d already taken – and the other two smirked, and they advanced. Jyn pushed herself up and stood, ready to defy them.

She blocked the first punch from the leader, but another got her in the side. She was slow, a little fuzzy still, exhausted, and her reaction time was not what it usually was. It took only a couple minutes for them to send her sprawling to the duracrete again. Gravel scraped Jyn’s palms as she fell, and when she flipped over, she saw the leader hauling his leg back for a kick.

Before he could unleash it, red blaster fire lanced out, hitting him in the back of the head. His two cronies turned in shock, but they dropped dead seconds later.

Will ran out of the shadows and into the light, and he shoved the blaster into the back of his pants when he dropped down next to Jyn. His hands cradled her face.

“Are you all right?” he asked gently.

“How did you find me?” she replied.

He raised the ring finger of her left hand, where the simple wedding band encircled it.

“The tracker and bio-monitor,” he said. “It started going crazy and woke me up.” He intertwined their fingers and peered closer at her. “Let’s get you home.”

_Home._

It wasn’t home – he was crazy if he thought his apartment was _home_ to her – but Jyn still felt relieved to get there when Will’s driver dropped them off. He suggested she take a shower, and she didn’t have to be told twice. Her door was open when he knocked fifteen minutes later, only her bedside lamp on. She nodded, and he came in with medical supplies, washcloths, and a bowl of warm water.

Then he set about gently washing each of her wounds again, silent, until he got to the cut above her eyebrow. Jyn watched his face, the deep frown set on it, and she wondered…why did he care?

“What happened?” he finally asked.

“They jumped me,” Jyn said.

“Why were you out that late?”

“I had too much to drink.”

“You know better.”

“I do.”

He dabbed at the cut again. “You could’ve been killed.”

“That would have made your life a lot easier.”

Will’s eyes shifted to hers, and he slowly brought his arm down. “No,” he said.

He didn’t have to say anything more. The look on his face, in his eyes, was enough. Jyn’s lips parted in surprise, to see that look, to realize what it meant. For a very long moment, their eyes stayed locked on one another’s, and neither of them moved. Then Jyn became aware of Will’s hand on her bare thigh, just below her sleep shorts, and she felt pulled toward him, mesmerized by him, even if what she felt toward him wasn’t what she’d call _attraction_ or even _fondness_ but…

Their lips met anyway, and he kissed her so gently. Jyn was surprised at his softness. His hand remained in the same place on her thigh – it didn’t wander at all. She took her chance and turned more toward him, so she was closer to him. She didn’t mean to, but her hand came up and touched his face, jaw roughened by a bit of stubble at the end of the day, and –

It was all he needed.

He kissed her harder, his tongue begging for entrance into her mouth, and she opened to him right away and pulled him down with her. Together, they moved up the bed so her head was on the plush pillows, her hands fisted in the front of his shirt and her knee up so that his hips were in line with hers. He dropped his hands to her top and pushed it up, pausing from her lips only long enough to tear it off over her head and leave her hair tousled around her on the pillow. Jyn looked up into his eyes again, breathing in and out through parted lips, and her hand stroked his face.

Were they really doing this?

Will kissed her again, pulling her close.

Apparently they were.

She hooked her fingers under his shirt and dragged it up his body, easily taking it off him. Feeling his skin against hers, it was like a firework exploded inside her just at the touch of his chest. She broke from his lips and arched her neck up from the pillow, craving his touch. Will’s mouth lowered to her breast and kissed it, pulling the nipple in deep as he massaged the other breast. Jyn only let him touch her there for a minute, stopping him when he skimmed his fingers over her nipple and it became too much. She wanted him out of his pants, she wanted him _in_ her, _now_.

Both of them worked to rid each other of pants and underwear, and Jyn reached her arm out to her nightstand drawer to pull it open. Her hand searched around for her box of condoms, and she quickly pulled one out and gave it to Will. He took it, kissed her long and deep, and pulled away.

“You’re going to hate me for this,” he murmured, and Jyn frowned because she could’ve sworn…but no. It was just, for a second, she thought she heard him speak just a little differently, not the usual precise Coruscanti accent, so like hers, that she was used to. His hands worked to put the condom on. “Please don’t hate me for this.”

Jyn wasn’t entirely sure why he was saying these things, but she didn’t really care at the moment. Will positioned himself over her, fitted his lips to hers again, and slid smoothly into her.

Jyn’s breath caught – a lover’s entrance was always inimitable, especially a first time – and she hadn’t slept with a large number of men, but it had been enough that she could tell differences in size. Will wasn’t the biggest man she’d been with, but that man had been too much for her. This man, though…he was just what she wanted, thick enough that he stretched her wide for him and she felt completely filled up, and the perfect length so that it felt like he was deep, deep inside her and touching the ache that begged to be released by him.

And he was gentle. He was so, so gentle. Sometimes, he held her close, as if she were precious to him, his rhythm changing to deep, slow, purposeful strokes that flooded Jyn’s heart with far too much emotion and nearly caused her eyes to well with tears. It was in these moments that she regretted having slept with Corbin that last time, because she wished she’d saved up all those months of longing for this moment with Will.

That realization struck her out of nowhere and disturbed her in a way she couldn’t, wouldn’t think about right now, and she widened her legs further and cradled his face between her hands as she kissed him hard, refusing to let feelings get the best of her.

Will pulled her over onto their sides, tangling his legs up with hers as he made love to her. He said nothing; his only sounds were breaths and kisses. But his body said everything for him. His fingers intertwined with hers and squeezed tight. His breath fanned across her face, his lips always close by. He pulled her leg over his thigh and gripped it, digging his fingers in.

When Will turned Jyn back onto her back again and resumed his pace, she felt her climax growing deep inside her. She squeezed down on him, heard his groan in response.

“Keep going,” she whispered as she held him. He read her perfectly, thrusting deeper and harder, a little faster, strengthening the orgasm. When all of her muscles began tensing, when her chest started getting tight, he saw it on her scrunched face – he was watching her – because he increased his pace more, and he felt _exquisite_ sliding so slickly in and out of her, so aroused as she was, and she knew when she came it was going to be –

Jyn gave a short moan, close to the edge but hanging on longer because it just felt so good – all of it. As she teetered on the brink of ecstasy, the world seemed to fall away, to just this moment between her and Will, the way their bodies fit together, the way he was making her feel. She breathed deep and slow, her eyes closed as she concentrated, and her heart beat way too fast. Will sucked hard on the crook of her neck, his cock buried so deep in her that his body pressed flush against hers every time he pushed back into her.

She wanted him to say something – she liked being talked to – but he was quiet, so quiet. As he moved his lips to her ear, she said into his, with what little breath she had in her lungs, “Talk to me.”

He said just one word, low: “Come.”

Again, the way he spoke seemed different, but she barely gave it any thought because the orgasm reached its highest pitch, and right before it crested, she gasped his name.

Then her body clenched around his and she briefly cried out, holding on tight to him. Her cheek pressed into her pillow, but Will turned her face to his and his lips descended on hers again. He kissed her so long and so deeply she gasped for air when he released her, which was when she felt him coming, too, pulsing hard inside her.

With his jaw between her fingertips, Jyn just gazed into his eyes.

\---

Jyn was already under the covers, heavy eyes closed, when Will returned from the ’fresher. He got in next to her and leaned over to kiss her temple before settling in behind her. For a few minutes, they lay together in the quiet, neither disturbing it.

Then Will spoke, his voice odd. Unsure. “I can sleep in my own room.”

He was offering her a way out in case she didn’t want this to be anything. In case it had just happened because they were both hyped up on adrenaline.

Jyn didn’t want that. She reached her hand out behind her back and found his. “Stay,” she said.

Will seemed to want that as much as she did, because his body relaxed against hers, and his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. He didn’t say anything more, but he didn’t need to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO’S READY TO BOARD THE ANGST EXPRESS NOW?!


	8. Cassian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian is in way too deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassian POV again! Did I tag angst? :P

Jyn might not hate him yet, but she would soon, Cassian knew. She was still sleeping when he left the bed the next morning to get ready for work, and he was distracted over his breakfast of fruit and yogurt as he read his messages from Krennic (six, as per usual). When Jyn found out the truth about who he was, when she found out he’d deceived her and been weak enough to give in and sleep with her while undercover, she would despise him. But not as much as he already despised himself – for a whole host of reasons. In some ways, he wished he could remain “Will” for her. It didn’t make sense at all – “Will” was a devout Imperial who served _Orson Krennic_ , for Force’s sake – but Will and Jyn had come to an understanding of sorts, and had even found affection for one another. Jyn wouldn’t even like Cassian, probably. He was prickly and dour and dark, he was fiercely devoted to the Rebellion and had no room in his life for anything else (and wanted nothing else), and he was a cold-blooded killer and liar with a horrible opinion of himself. There was, quite literally, not a thing in the whole damn galaxy to like about him. Although how was Will any better?

_You might as well be a stormtrooper._

Well, she wasn’t wrong there. Just about what side he was on.

Cassian was tired this morning, even though he’d slept the night through. He’d shared sleeping accommodations with people before – soldiers in ratholes while Imperial fire screamed overhead or bombs exploded outside the flimsy walls – but never like this. Never with anyone he cared about. Soldiers in the Alliance who sought one another’s company in the dark of night didn’t stay long, not in an uncomfortable bunk only made for one person. It was too uncomfortable, too close, too intimate, and furthermore, it was unnecessary. Sharing an entire bed with someone he’d just slept with was all of that. It was too uncomfortable. It was too close. It was too intimate.

He would die to do it again.

As Cassian washed his dishes in the sink, he heard Jyn emerge from her room behind him. He finished what he was doing, drying the dishes and putting them away, before turning to face her.

His heart thudded in his chest.

She stood there in a long, silky white robe, tied at the waist in a bow with a thin sash. Her hair was full and wavy around her face. Her green eyes were big and open to him. When he looked at her, she smiled.

“I hope I didn’t wake you,” Cassian said, and somehow, finding those words was incredibly difficult.

“No,” Jyn said. “I was awake. You’re up early.” She came around the breakfast bar and stood in front of him, her back to it. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes, just a lot of work to do today.”

Her gaze dropped to the floor. “As always, I’m sure.”

A fresh spike of hatred for what he had to do for this mission lanced through Cassian’s body. He said nothing.

“I’ll let you get to it,” Jyn said, and turned away.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. “I can make you something.”

She just looked up at him, as if no one had offered her this kindness before. To him, it sounded stupid. It was so little.

Jyn didn’t answer. Cassian didn’t make a move to start preparing food for her. Instead, he looked down to the bow on her robe, and he reached out to pull one of the strings. Like a present coming apart, it loosened easily and the two halves parted to reveal her naked underneath.

She took the smallest step toward him, slid her hands over his shoulders, and raised her chin to kiss him. He had nothing left in him to resist.

Soon, Cassian was pushing her back against the counter, kissing her hard, his hands on her waist. Her naked body was against his gray Imperial uniform, and he wanted to touch her more, but somehow, that seemed more intimate than sex to use his fingers and his mouth on her. It was too much. Yet at the same time, right now was not enough, and he craved more, more, more of her.

It was like Jyn read his mind, or maybe she felt the same way, too, because she took his left hand with her right and pressed it between her legs. She was hot and already wet, slippery against his fingers, and a white-hot spark shot straight to his groin. He didn’t move his hand, both wanting her to set the pace and knowing that moving any further would take him too far down this path that he never should have set foot on.

Jyn pressed down on his middle and ring fingers with her own, sliding them into her. Cassian did nothing, helpless, as she pushed them all the way in. She breathed hard when she broke from his lips for a moment, sagging back against the counter.

She was so wet. And Cassian couldn’t deny her if he’d tried.

With his other arm, he picked Jyn up and hauled her onto the counter. Knickknacks fell off as she dropped back onto her elbows. Her body responded to his like no one else’s had, and it intoxicated him. Splayed out before him in the daylight, she was beyond beautiful to him. He wanted to never have to tell her the truth, never have to hurt her. Never before had he cared who his lies had hurt; all that had mattered was the cause. The cause, the cause, the cause, it came before _everything_. There had never been anything that could possibly be more important than it.

Jyn pushed herself up from the counter to kiss Cassian again as his fingers slid in and out of her. Her face had flushed a beautiful pink, and her breaths came fast and rough.

“I want to hear you talk to me again,” she rasped.

If Cassian didn’t know better, he’d think it almost sounded like begging.

He couldn’t talk to her in Basic. For one thing, he’d let his Festian accent slip a couple times last night because he had such a tenuous grip on his control. Whether or not he was a vocal partner depended largely on the other party; however, in the case of last night, he had held as tight to his control as he could, knowing that if he lost himself too much in the moment, he would have let far too much slip. It was just easier to hold himself back, much as he didn’t want to.

He nudged the side of her head with his nose and closed his eyes. "Tu es si belle, Jyn. Je veux sentir ton corps contre le mien et ne jamais quitter ton lit. Jouis pour moi et dis-moi combien c'est bon."

He didn’t know if Jyn understood him, but she groaned – he could tell she liked it – and gripped his biceps. She lowered her head and her face scrunched up, and she rocked her hips hard against his hand.

“Will,” she said in a tight voice, clenching her fingers hard. “Make me come.”

“I will,” he whispered, struggling to maintain his Coruscanti accent. Beneath his awful uniform, sweat had gathered, and he didn’t know _how_ he was going to go into the office today. “I promise.”

He’d never made promises to anyone before. He didn’t believe in them.

Jyn moaned, widening her legs and planting the heel of her foot on the counter. Cassian kissed her again, his mind whirling with the blazing memory of last night, and he felt her body tighten around his fingers. Closer, closer, closer…

She cried out and grabbed his shoulders, her bottom sliding slowly forward and back on the counter as she rode out the orgasm.

When she quieted, panting and recovering her breath, Cassian’s hands dove into her hair and turned her face up to his, kissing her again. He couldn’t get enough of her, and the fact that he would have to let her go, and let her go soon, burned like acid in his chest. He kissed her and kissed her, mind flying through possibilities of how this might work. Maybe Will and Jyn could…no. Or they could…no, that wouldn’t work, either. He struggled to remember who he was — supposed to be. Remember who he was supposed to be. 

“Stay home today,” Jyn murmured when they finally broke apart. Her voice was coy. Sweet.

Hopeful.

He’d given her hope now. False hope.

There was nothing worse.

Cassian’s internal temperature immediately cooled ten degrees.

“Spend the day with me,” she added.

His breath froze in his chest when he saw the look on her face. The smile. No. This had now gone too far. This had to end. Somehow, he had to find a way to end this. And soon.

“I can’t,” he said softly, because he couldn’t speak any louder than that. “I have to go.” He stepped back from her and swiftly walked away, gathering his things as he made a quick retreat toward the door.

“Will – ”

“I’ll be home late tonight.”

“Wait – ”

Just before he opened the door, he made the mistake of looking up at her. She looked crestfallen. Hurt. Again. Just like she had before when he’d rejected her after their first kiss.

“Jyn,” he tried. “I…”

But it was useless. He was nothing.

Cassian detested how he must have looked in her eyes. She was pure beauty. And he was absolute filth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: “You are so beautiful, Jyn. I want to feel your body on mine and never leave your bed. Come for me and tell me how good it feels.”
> 
> Thank you to our dear [pingou7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pingou/pseuds/pingou/works?fandom_id=9162187) for the translation!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn finds out Will’s true identity. She’s furious, but she can’t deny that she still has feelings for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am VERY excited about this chapter. I’ve had (part of) the smut written for a long time!
> 
> ALSO, @sunburnracing did a [SCORCHING HOT manip](https://thestarbirdfromtheashes.tumblr.com/post/180503488364/sunburnracing-d-e-c-e-p-t-i-o-n-im-not) for me! NSFW, kiddos!! LOL!
> 
> PS She takes requests. ;)

Will’s voice woke Jyn up in the stillness of night. She’d gone to bed early, before he’d gotten home.

“Pack some things,” he whispered. “Hurry.”

“What?” Jyn replied groggily as she pushed herself up. “What’s going on?”

“We need to go.”

He left her room, and for a moment, Jyn just blinked in confusion as her brain came online. She didn’t know what was going on, but she was sure of one thing: she wasn’t going to just follow some mysterious orders with no explanation whatsoever.

Jyn pulled on her robe and tied it, then found Will checking weapons she’d never seen before on the breakfast counter. She crossed her arms.

“What’s going on?” she demanded. Will looked up.

“I can’t explain right now,” he said. “You – ”

“You damn well better explain right now.”

A silent breath left him, his shoulders sagging. “There is a very serious threat against your family. The director has asked me to take you into hiding for the time being. If we don’t go _now_ , you may not survive the night.”

“Into hiding? For how long?”

“I don’t know.”

“Who’s the threat from?”

“I can’t say.”

“You had better say.”

Something shifted on his face, his eyes softening. “I’ll tell you everything when we’re on the ship. I promise.”

_Ship?_

“Now, please,” he implored. “Pack. I also need you to call your family. Tell them what I told you.”

Jyn nodded and turned to go back into her room. She quickly changed into pants and a comfortable tunic, then grabbed a duffle bag and began packing. She wasn’t surprised this had happened. With her father’s work, it was inevitable that someone would target the family at some point.

Mama and Papa listened to Jyn and did what she asked with no questions. Soon, she and Will were heading through the dark building to their apartment. Will was tense beside her.

After picking up her parents, Will led them to a service corridor, easily bypassing the lock. He hurried, and Jyn had to admit to being impressed at the amount of planning Krennic had done to keep them safe.

_But of course he had. He would never let anything happen to my father._

_But…why protect the_ whole _family? And not just him?_

Krennic cared nothing for Mama and Jyn. They could turn up dead in an alley of suspicious causes, and he would simply shrug his shoulders.

Something niggled at Jyn’s brain. It didn’t add up.

A speeder that had clearly seen better days waited for them when they arrived at a loading dock.

“Your driver isn’t taking us?” Jyn asked Will. He shook his head.

“No one else can know of this.” He ushered them in, then got behind the wheel and took off into the night. Coruscant never slept, and Jyn watched the endless streams of traffic, wondering where they were headed. The Manarai Mountains, maybe? Somewhere underground? How long would they be there?

Instead, their path pointed them to a small spaceport in a dingy part of the city. Will glanced around and then waved them all out. Jyn looked up at a small transport ship just as beat-up as the speeder.

“That does not look reliable,” she said.

“It’s good enough,” Will replied, grabbing her elbow and pulling her toward it. “Let’s go.”

Jyn was second up the ramp after Will, dragging her feet with fatigue.

“You had better hurry,” a mechanical voice said, and she jumped before looking up, up, up into the yellow eyes of a KX series security droid. “We haven’t got all night.”

Jyn nodded and edged around him – no way did she want to tangle with that thing, even if Krennic had sent it to protect them – and went to stow her duffle. Will disappeared into the cockpit, and the droid watched with disconcerting interest as the Ersos strapped in. The ship had already been preflighted, and Will had them airborne in minutes.

Jyn frowned when she saw they were heading toward space and not anywhere on the planet.

“ _Where_ did you say we were going?” she called to the cockpit.

“That is none of your concern,” the droid called back.

“Quiet, Stardust,” Papa said. His hand rested over hers, and she was reminded of being brought back to Imperial Center again last time. They were still prisoners, and now, the bars had closed even further in. “We could just be going over to the other side of the planet.”

“I don’t think so,” Mama murmured as they got further out and endless stars surrounded them.

Jyn’s mouth fell open, right before the ship shot into hyperspace.

\---

Will didn’t exit the cabin, and the Ersos didn’t get up, for a good fifteen minutes. At that time, the ship exited hyperspace, course-corrected, and entered again. Five more minutes after that, it did it again. Jyn unbuckled and stormed up to the cockpit.

“Okay, what in Force’s name – ”

The droid rose up menacingly from the co-pilot’s seat. “You will go back to your seat, Jyn Erso.”

“Kay,” Will chided, and Jyn felt her whole body twitch. His voice had changed again, just like it had that night they spent together in her bedroom. It was richer, deeper, and even though all he said was one letter, she could hear a different accent in it.

“Who are you?” Jyn asked. “Kidnappers?”

“No.” Will stood from his seat and turned to face her. His face was…conflicted. “We’re with the Rebel Alliance.”

Jyn’s mouth opened again, and she fell back a step. Now there was no mistaking it. His accent was _definitely_ different. _Completely_ different. He wasn’t Imperial at all, unless _this_ was a ruse.

“We were sent here to get you out,” he continued. “Long-term undercover operation. I needed as much information as I could get.” His brown eyes flicked over her shoulder. “On the Death Star.”

Jyn turned to see Papa swallow, his face paler.

“A weapons test is imminent,” Will said. “Krennic told me today. They’re going to fire it soon. You held tight to that information, Erso.”

“I was ordered to tell no one,” Papa said.

Will nodded. “I know. You have it with you?” Papa nodded. “Good.”

“How do you know?” Jyn asked. Will gave her a tight smile.

“I would be a poor Intelligence agent if I didn’t know everything about my subjects. I knew your father would never leave without his research.”

He walked past her into the hold of the ship, where the Ersos were sitting, and she followed him.

“Intelligence?” she said. “You’re a _spy_?” He nodded, and rage shot through her, burning bright. The truth settled over her like a suffocating blanket, fighting with denial. “So Willix isn’t really your name. That was simply an alias.”

“Correct.” He opened up a locker against the wall and began going through it.

Jyn nodded, looking away. _He was undercover, and he slept with me anyway. Was all of it a lie? Did he do it just for his mission? Was he using me? Did he even care?_ Now was not the time, in front of her parents and escaping the Empire, but they were going to have words about this later.

“Who are you, then?” Jyn asked. “Besides a liar.”

His movements stopped at the slap in the face. He didn’t look at her.

“My name is Cassian Andor,” he said quietly. “That is the truth.”

Jyn turned away. She couldn’t look at him anymore.

\---

Ninety-six hours later, they came out of hyperspace again. Jyn watched as they approached a giant orange gas planet and cruised past it to a much smaller one, lush and tropical. Will…Cassian…and the droid, Kay-Two-Ess-Oh, exchanged very few words as they descended. Their landing was smooth, the hands of a practiced, skilled pilot.

“Come,” Cassian said as he opened the hatch. “There are people you need to meet with.”

He led them into a giant ziggurat, which was bustling with activity. Kaytoo followed behind them, and Jyn got the impression the big droid was keeping a close eye on them at all times. Cassian had said nothing about where they were, but it was clearly Rebel headquarters.

He also didn’t give them any time to drop their belongings off in a room or wash up. The shuttle had offered scant little in the way of amenities on the overly long journey, and sharing a refresher with three other people had not been the most pleasant experience – especially given the extravagance Jyn was used to. Still…better this than being prisoners of the Empire. Though now they were just prisoners of the Rebellion, really.

They arrived at a war room, which had only two occupants, both red-headed: a woman in white robes and a grim man in khaki. Cassian introduced them as Mon Mothma, the leader of the Rebellion, and General Draven of Intelligence. Mothma seemed fine, but Jyn disliked Draven right away as he immediately launched into questions with no time wasted. She had little to offer and stood by in silence, listening as they… _interrogated_ …her father on his work over the last decade and a half. As the hours passed, she learned what Cassian’s role had been on Imperial Center. Three months ago he’d been slipped in and easily offered up through other Rebel agents deep undercover as the perfect biographer for Krennic, who had been looking for one at the time. As such, he would keep close tabs on the director and be with him constantly, gathering as much information as he could on Project Celestial Power – the code name for what they now knew was the Death Star.

But that was only one half of the mission.

The other half was to get the Ersos out once he had enough information, and once enough research had been done that Galen could disappear.

“Will’s” marriage to Jyn was not discussed, and as time went on, and Jyn’s thumb fiddled restlessly with her band, she began to seethe more and more until she could no longer hold her tongue.

“And what of my part in this?” she finally burst out, right in the middle of Draven droning on about analysis that was, quite frankly, boring her to tears. (Or rage. She couldn’t be sure.) All heads swung toward her.

“Excuse me?” Draven said.

“My part,” Jyn repeated. “Why was I involved?”

“You weren’t,” the general replied, and looked away from her. “As I was saying – ”

“Wasn’t I?” Jyn hissed. “So my forced marriage to your agent is not what you consider _involvement_?”

“We will have that taken care of,” Draven assured her.

“At some point,” Cassian added. “For now, we need to keep it on the books so as to not arouse any suspicion should anyone go looking.”

“This was part of your plan?” Jyn said to Draven. “Force me against my will?”

He snorted. “Please, Miss Erso. It was inconvenient to us more than anything. That was all Krennic’s doing.”

Jyn looked at Cassian. “And you couldn’t say no.”

“I couldn’t,” he said. “Krennic would have suspected something. He’s a shrewd man. Willix is a man of the Empire. He would do anything asked of him. I had no choice.”

“ _I_ had no choice!”

“Please calm yourself, Miss Erso,” Draven said.

But Jyn just shook her head at them, backing away toward the exit. “You condone it. All of you.”

“We don’t,” Mothma said in her calm voice. “It took us by surprise, but we would expect no less from the Empire.”

Jyn met each of their gazes. Her parents stared back at her, tired and morose. Mothma was trying to convey something soothing. Draven looked irritated. Cassian’s face was totally blank.

Shaking her head again, Jyn turned and left the room.

\---

She didn’t go far. She had nowhere _to_ go. She just waited outside, trying not to think. Her parents and Cassian emerged half an hour later. (Kaytoo he sent off to get a joint oiled.)

“I’ll show you to your room,” he said, and they set off through the base. It was just after noon local time, and Jyn was, if nothing else, looking forward to a shower, change of clothes, and a meal. Not that a Rebel base would have much good food to eat, but it would (probably) be better than packaged ration bars.

The room was small, just three narrow bunks shoved against three walls, and it was humid and claustrophobic.

Still, Jyn told herself, it was better than the Empire.

She walked in and set her bag down, and was just bending over to take her shoes off.

“Jyn.”

She pretended not to hear him, but she sensed the awkwardness in the room, with her parents there, when she didn’t respond.

“What?” she finally replied, flatly.

Cassian left the room, and Jyn sighed as she followed him. She shut the door behind her.

“We haven’t had a chance to talk,” he said. “We should.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” she said.

“You need me.”

“I don’t.”

“You do,” Cassian insisted. “We can’t put the divorce through until Krennic has been taken out. It would look too suspicious if we tried to file. So for the time being, we need to stay married.”

Jyn moved to strike him. He caught her wrist and held it above her head, stepping right into her space and pressing close to her.

“Now,” he said in a low voice, “we can talk about this like adults in my quarters, or we can not talk about it at all and you’ll just have to suffer without answers. Your choice.”

Jyn’s hand flexed into a fist, loosened, flexed again. “Your quarters,” she growled through clenched teeth. Cassian released her, and he turned away. She followed him through the temple to the officers’ quarters, down the row of doors, and into his room.

Then he just looked at her, taking the measure of her, while she glared lasers at him.

“I hate you,” she said.

“I don’t blame you,” he replied.

“You used me.”

“No.”

“You’re lying.”

“No.”

Jyn advanced on him, but he didn’t so much as look fazed. His expression didn’t even change. He just stared right back at her with that flat, neutral face.

“Were those your orders, then?” she hissed in a low voice. “To get close to me and sleep with me?”

He held his hands up to her. “Believe me, _no_.”

In an instant, Jyn snatched them up and stretched up on her toes, pinning his wrists to the wall behind him. “No?” she said. “Not your orders from Krennic, or not your orders from the Alliance?”

He scowled at her, but made no effort to try to break free. Jyn noticed the way his shirt stretched tight across his chest, and _hated_ herself for it. “Not my orders from _anyone_ ,” Cassian said. “That wasn’t part of the act.”

“You lied to me,” Jyn said, squeezing harder, knowing at this point, she was applying enough pressure to hurt him. “Every day, _you lied_.”

“I had to. I had to get your family out.”

Then he made his move, slipping out of her grip, grabbing her wrists, and spinning to pin her to the wall. She gasped when her back made contact with the stone, and her breath drew in even deeper when Cassian crowded her.

“But that’s not what’s bothering you most,” he said in a low voice, his face way, way too close to hers. She looked up at him defiantly, eyes blazing, daring him to speak another word. “What bothers you most is that you _liked_ it, that you felt it, too.”

He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers with such force, her knees nearly buckled. He let go of her hands and caught her shoulders, holding her against the wall as the memory of his mouth came back to her and she fought for air, her mind already dizzy. She broke his grip and slid her hands up his back and thrust a hand into his hair, curling her fingers into the locks and tugging hard enough that he grunted in pain.

“Admit it,” he rasped. “You’re just angry.”

“You’re just a liar,” she snarled, breaking the kiss when she realized she was kissing him back. She pushed him away from her. Her lips already felt swollen. His were, too, and his hair was mussed from her fingers. His face had colored, and his eyes were slightly dazed.

“So leave,” he said, but she made no move to go. She just stood there, fists clenched, breathing hard. He shrugged and tilted his head. “There’s the door.”

“You didn’t have to do it,” Jyn said. “You didn’t have to sleep with me. You didn’t have to be kind to me.”

“What did you want me to do?” he asked, and his breath was so warm over her lips as he moved closer again. “Be horrible to you?”

“It would have been kinder.” She glared again as a memory came back to her. “You begged me. You _begged me_ not to hate you. But you fucked me anyway. Was it good? Did you like it? Did you like getting off with me?”

“Yes.” The admission came on a husky breath. By now Cassian’s whole body was against hers again, his hands pressed against the wall behind her to either side of her face, his rough cheek burning hers. He hadn’t shaved since they’d left Coruscant, and Jyn realized it had been intentional. Him being clean-shaven had been an act, too. Even the way he wore his hair now, neat but shaggier, was different. _Nothing_ about him was real, or sincere.

“I should punch you,” Jyn said, but she didn’t move away. She _couldn’t_. Instead, her head tipped away to invite his lips closer, and her hands drifted up to settle on his waist.

“So do it,” Cassian murmured, kissing her neck slow and hot. “I deserve it.”

But she didn’t. Her traitorous hands moved farther up his body, to grip the back of his jacket at the collar. Her eyes closed and her heart pounded, heat throbbing between her legs.

“I want you again, Jyn,” he whispered. “So much.”

His name slipped from between her lips. But it was the wrong name.

“Will,” she said, and immediately felt him stiffen.

“I’m not Willix,” he growled. Then he took her face between his hands and kissed her roughly, and she responded in kind, angered at the illusion being shattered. She _should_ hit him, _she should hit him_ –

Cassian let go of her face and crouched slightly to curl his arms around her thighs and hoist her up against the wall. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and her mouth dove for his again. Fury burned bright in her mind, feelings of betrayal and loss and disorientation.

Her hands reached for his belt at the same time his began pushing her skirt up and pulling her underwear down. In no time at all, Cassian was naked from the waist down, Jyn was bared to him, and she was wrapping her hand around his base to help guide him in.

He entered her hard, too hard, and she cried out and clutched him around his neck. His kisses slowed for a moment, soothing her, and he stroked her gently, helping her get used to him again. It was just a short reprieve, Jyn knew, because he was angry, and she was, too – she was kriffing _furious_.

“You lied to me,” Jyn whispered as he began to move up into her. It was then that she realized, quite belatedly, that they weren’t using a condom. How much did she trust this man?

“I did what I had to do,” Cassian replied, voice low.

“You didn’t need to be so convincing.” She gasped and ran all of her fingers through his hair again, the silky strands sifting through past her skin. It felt too good and she hated that, so she bent to the crook of his neck and nipped. She _hated_ him.

_Remember, Jyn?_

Cassian’s pace increased, and he brought one hand up to cradle the back of her head against the stone. “It’s my job,” he said.

“Damn you,” Jyn said, raising her head and smacking his shoulder with the flat of her palm. “I hate you.”

He pulled her away from the wall and tumbled her onto his bunk. Jyn raised her hips, relishing the new angle, and he slid so easily in and out of her.

“Then why,” he said into her ear, “are you so wet?”

And she couldn’t answer that, she couldn’t give him a reason why, so she took his face and pulled him to her and kissed him again until she felt close to coming. It was good, the sex was _so good_ , rough and hard and she knew anyone looking at her afterward was going to know just what exactly she’d been up to. Cassian wasn’t gentle with her, not like Will had been, and she wasn’t gentle with him, either. As she felt the pleasure getting closer and closer, her entire body tightened up everywhere so that she was clinging to him, waiting out the moments until he pushed her over the edge. Her heart hammered and her emotions battered each other around in her head; at this point, she wasn’t sure _what_ exactly she was feeling.

And then he slowed down, right as she was almost there. Her eyes snapped open, the pleasure starting to recede. He wasn’t looking at her, his head down at an angle away from her, pillowed on her chest and shoulder. But she knew, _she knew_ , he knew what he was doing. His thrusts were shallow, barely half of his cock moving in and out of her.

“Let me come, damn you,” she hissed. At this rate, she never would. “Let me _come_!”

“Is that who you want?” he asked, voice tight, anger barely in check. “Willix? A mindless Imperial? You want him back?”

_“Damn you – ”_

Cassian surged into her, causing her to throw her head back at the explosion of sensation inside her. He kissed the hollow of her throat, the crook of her neck, and moved hard into her again and again once more. His last thrust sent her over the edge. Her mind was lost to her over the force of it, her chest seizing up so hard she could not draw breath. Cassian kept his pace up throughout it, drawing it out and out and out. Just when the shaking of her muscles had subsided to tremors, he jerked away from her, quickly pumped himself a few times, and spilled hot and thick low on her belly. From hip to hip her skin burned with him. Jyn took a deep breath and clutched the pillow with both hands, closing her eyes and slowly letting her breath out.

Cassian moved away from her to the side of the bed, and he said nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hurt goes deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pain train. It will get better. Hugs.

In the silence that followed, Jyn focused on her heartbeat slowing down and her body cooling. Cassian was completely silent to her left, sitting on the edge of the bunk, not moving a muscle. She couldn’t even detect him breathing. She chanced a glance at him.

He was slumped a little, hands between his knees, eyes staring at nothing.

Jyn turned her head away.

The mattress shifted as he stood, and she heard him pull his pants on. She pulled a corner of the sheet up to cover herself, suddenly feeling too exposed and not wanting him to see her half-naked. He retrieved a washcloth from a drawer and brought it over to her.

She ignored it and used his top sheet to clean up. If he was going to make a mess, he could live with the consequences. When she was finished, she adjusted her skirt and sat up, then readjusted the rest of her clothes. Silently, she slipped her shoes on, all while listening to the beating of her heart.

Jyn didn’t hesitate at the door to his room, but when she crossed through it, she could swear he turned toward her, and moved as if to stop her – but didn’t.

\---

What Jyn really wanted – and needed, to be fair – was a shower, but she was too keyed up to return to her room with her parents. She didn’t want to invite their questions with her disheveled look and frazzled vibe. So she walked around the ziggurat, up and down the hallways, over and over again, acutely aware of the residual stickiness low on her belly. Finally she left the claustrophobic inside of the temple to walk out into the muggy air of the jungle outside, hugging herself and leaning against the stone in the shadows of late afternoon.

Cassian and his droid Kaytoo walked out not more than ten minutes later. Jyn backed further into the shadows, watching. They chatted about Kaytoo’s maintenance for a few moments, and then Kay asked Cassian what was bothering him.

“You’re distracted,” Kay said when Cassian replied that nothing was bothering him. “You aren’t behaving like your usual self.”

Cassian didn’t speak for a moment. “I lied at the meeting,” he murmured. “With Draven and Mothma.”

“I read the report.”

“I didn’t need to get the Ersos out right then. I had at least two days’ cushion.”

The droid’s eyes seemed to glow a little bit brighter. Jyn wondered what that meant.

“Then why did you do it?” he asked.

“I was compromised,” Cassian answered, voice still quiet. “I let my accent slip. I was worried about the Ersos.”

“You were worried about _Jyn_ Erso.”

Jyn’s heart thudded hard in her chest. Cassian said nothing.

“I’m a disgrace to the division,” he finally said. “I should transfer out.”

“If that is what you think is best,” Kay said. “Your skills are highly valued in Rebel Intelligence, but if you cannot carry out your missions, you become a liability.”

“I know that, Kay,” he said. He was motionless, arms crossed, eyes on the ground. “I don’t think I’ll be compromised on any more missions.”

“Not unless Jyn Erso is involved.”

Cassian scoffed and dropped his arms. “I don’t think Jyn will be speaking to me any time in the future.”

“That is for the best.”

“You’re probably right.”

Again, Jyn’s heart beat hard, but it didn’t feel so good.

“Jyn Erso is an Imperial aristocrat,” Kay added. “There is a possibility you will be given a mission to protect her.”

“Maybe. But she’s not an Imperial, any more than you or I are.”

“She _is_ an Imperial, Cassian.”

“Kay – ”

“She was born into Imperial wealth,” the droid interrupted. “She was raised in Imperial ways.”

“She has no love for the Empire,” Cassian said.

“She is highly educated. She is accustomed to Imperial extravagance.”

At this, Jyn felt a tide of guilt and shame. She _wasn’t_ an Imperial. Ever since she could remember, she had neither trusted nor liked the Empire. Neither had her parents.

“Stop it,” Cassian snapped, his fists and jaw clenching.

“I am simply pointing out your differences,” Kay said. “You are a poor, uneducated orphan from the Outer Rim, and Jyn Erso is a snobbish, rich, entitled Imperial from Imperial Center. Jyn Erso was attracted to Lieutenant Willix, a character similar to herself, not Captain Cassian Andor, a Rebel very unlike her. You need have no further contact with her, and I estimate it will decrease your depression by forty-seven percent. You have been positively morose since meeting her.”

“Enough. That’s an order, Kay.”

“Yes, Captain.”

Jyn didn’t realize her lips were parted until she closed her mouth. Silently, she edged around the temple until the pair were out of sight, and then she slipped away.

\---

The Ersos ate together in the mess hall. Jyn was silent throughout the meal, chewing on autopilot. Afterward, she showered and changed clothes, and she went looking for Cassian. She had no idea where he would be, but she didn’t mind walking again.

It helped her think.

The conversation she’d overheard between him and his droid bothered her. She wasn’t a rich Imperial snob. While Kay was right that Will had been the man she’d been attracted to, not Cassian (who, _in her defense and to be fair_ , she _did not know_ ), she didn’t care where Cassian had come from. Plenty of Rebels were orphans from the Outer Rim, with sad stories to tell. They were good people fighting for a good cause. She _wanted_ to be a Rebel. She _wanted_ to fight back against the Empire. Wasn’t that good enough?

She found Cassian in the hangar, tinkering with the shuttle they’d taken from Coruscant. He was at the back of it, messing with something in the engine compartment. Jyn slowly approached him. The frown of concentration on his face didn’t change as she did so, but he had to have heard her.

“Problem with the ship?” she asked when she was close enough.

“Dirty,” he replied, using some tool to scrape away at the innards. “Causing it to labor.”

“Ah.” She nodded like she understood this.

“Also need to tighten down some bolts. Hand me the hydrospanner?”

Jyn looked down at the toolbox. She had no idea what he was talking about.

“Um…”

Cassian sighed and stepped down off the stool, rustling in the box and getting the tool himself. Jyn watched as he tightened half a dozen bolts with it.

“Multitool?” he asked. Jyn looked helplessly down at the box again. “It’s the one that looks like it has multiple tools in it.”

Jyn’s face twisted. “Shut up,” she snarled.

Wordlessly, Cassian got off the stool again and switched out his tools. When he was back in the engine again, he said, “What do you want, Jyn?”

Yes, indeed, what _did_ she want? She picked up a rag with a minimal amount of dirt and fidgeted with it, then started rubbing the ship, cleaning it off.

“Feels good to do some physical labor,” she said. “Just thought I’d help out.”

“Really.”

“Yeah. I don’t do enough of this stuff. It’s good to do it. Salt-of-the-earth stuff. You know.”

“I do know.”

“I’m just so used to books and stuff. Parties. All that stupid Imperial stuff.” She rubbed hard at a black scratch, frowning at its stubbornness.

“That’s carbon scoring,” Cassian said. “It’s not going to come out with a rag and elbow grease.”

Jyn scowled.

“All I’m saying,” she continued as she moved on with the cloth, “is that this is good stuff to learn. It’s stuff I don’t know, and it’s really important.”

“Is this about what Kay said?”

That caught Jyn totally off-guard, and she tried not to flinch. What she tried to do was dodge the question. “What do you mean?”

“You overheard my conversation with Kay. I don’t care what you think of me.”

“I don’t think anything of you.”

“Right.”

Jyn set the cloth down on the ship again and turned to him. He wasn’t looking at her, still messing with the engine.

“You have no right to treat me like shavit,” she said. “I’m not the one who lied and deceived.”

“I did it for the cause,” he replied unabashedly. “For the good of the Rebellion.”

“I have every reason to hate you.”

“So hate me.” He twisted hard on something. “It makes no difference to me, and it has no impact on my life.”

Jyn reached up high and grabbed his shoulder, then yanked him down to her and shoved him back against the wall. A look of surprise briefly crossed his face.

“Have you no conscience?” she asked. “Do you feel no guilt?”

“Your father’s information is going to _save_ the Rebellion,” he snarled. “And you want me to be sorry for what I did. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for the Rebellion. _Everything._ ”

“And it doesn’t matter who you hurt along the way.”

Cassian shoved her arm away. “No.” Then he strode past her. Jyn took a step toward him, her fists clenching, her eyes burning and her hate growing stronger, both at herself and at him.

“So you felt nothing,” she accused. His back stiffened. “You say you didn’t use me, but you still got laid. You still got off. Twice. You even got hate-fucked.”

He turned his head over his shoulder, not quite looking at her. “I did feel something,” he murmured. “And I thought you enjoyed it, too. I tried…to make sure you did.”

Jyn blew a breath out her nose and sneered at him. “Not really. You were a terrible lover,” she spat. “Selfish, careless, sloppy… I’ve had better. Much better. You’re not the only one who can fake things. Good day, _Captain_.”

And with that, she stormed away from him, satisfied with her own lie. She knew she was cutting him deep, and she didn’t care.

At least, not until she lay awake in bed that night, unable to sleep, wondering why they kept hurting each other…especially if they didn’t care about each other.


	11. Cassian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian reflects. Draven assigns him and Jyn a mission. Galen confronts Cassian.

_“Your father’s information is going to_ save _the Rebellion. And you want me to be sorry for what I did. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for the Rebellion._ Everything. _”_

_“And it doesn’t matter who you hurt along the way.”_

_“No.”_

Along with other things relating to his work and chosen career field, Cassian prided himself on his ability to focus to an intense degree. Today, however, as he stood around the holoprojector with Draven, Mothma, and the Ersos, nothing he did, no trick or piece of training, could get him to concentrate.

_“So you felt nothing. You say you didn’t use me, but you still got laid. You still got off. Twice. You even got hate-fucked.”_

_No, Jyn,_ he thought now. _It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that at all._

 _“I did feel something,”_ he’d told her, and it was as true as the sun in the sky above the jungle on Yavin IV. He’d felt something, everything, too much. He’d felt fondness, attraction, a kindred spirit, someone he wanted to know but, kriff, there hadn’t been the time. He hadn’t been stupid enough to think that maybe when they got back to Yavin IV, Jyn would forgive him and want to get to know him better. He knew she would hate him. She had all the reasons in the galaxy to. He’d betrayed her. He’d deceived her. He’d done it before, to countless people, for the good of the Rebellion, the galaxy, the beings who suffered under the Empire’s cruel thumb.

Only this time, the person he’d hurt was someone whose face he had to look into almost every day. Someone whose eyes showed the hurt. Whose eyes had shown him caring, fondness, attraction…

Kaytoo was right. Cassian and Jyn were unlike. Jyn belonged with someone like Corbin, her previous boyfriend on Coruscant. What was there to see in Cassian Andor, Rebel Intelligence Captain? What did he have to offer Jyn Erso?

Nothing. There was nothing.

_“And I thought you enjoyed it, too. I tried…to make sure you did.”_

Cassian had lain awake long into the night, hands behind his head, staring up at his ceiling and thinking about his last conversation with Jyn. The wedding ring sat on the crate he used for a nightstand. He’d taken it off only that night. He should’ve taken it off earlier.

Jyn’s, too, was gone this morning.

 _“Not really. You were a terrible lover. Selfish, careless, sloppy… I’ve had better. Much better. You’re not the only one who can fake things. Good day,_ Captain _.”_

She was lying about that last part. Cassian knew she was. He knew how to spot a lie better than anyone. Not only were there tells on her face, and in her voice (too emphatic for it to be the truth), but there was the physical act itself that she was referencing. He’d felt it. He’d felt her flutter around him with pleasure, heard her words begging him to release her, heard her sighs, felt her heartbeat under his hand. She hadn’t faked anything.

As to whether he was a good lover or not, well, she could very well be telling the truth about that. He didn’t know – no one had ever told him, of course, and he’d certainly never been in any sort of relationship where communication like that was expected or welcomed – but he’d never had any complaints. He could very well be a selfish asshole only out for his only pleasure, only in it for himself and getting himself off. He didn’t _think_ he was – it wasn’t in his nature to be self-serving even in the slightest – but at the end of the day, what the kriff did he know?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No matter how good he apparently thought he was in the sack. (And apparently he did think rather highly of himself. Something to consider.)

Conversation in the room suddenly stopped. Cassian’s eyes shifted to Private Weems, who’d just rushed in and was now speaking urgently to Draven, whose face shifted to subtle alarm, or what passed for it. Draven nodded, and Weems, who only seemed to have one mode, _Run_ , rushed out.

“Something has happened to NiJedha,” Draven said. “The whole city, gone. The Empire are calling it a mining accident.”

“A cover-up,” Cassian said. “The Holy City suddenly gone when there’s a planet-killer out there?”

Draven nodded. “I want you to check it out immediately.” He looked over at Jyn, who had been silent and withdrawn the entire time. “Take Miss Erso and your droid with you.”

“What?” Jyn exclaimed. “Why?”

“To verify.”

Jyn narrowed her eyes. “Yes, I understand that part, General,” she said acidly. “But why me?”

“Your father is far too valuable. You have a scientific mind and can gather data and bring it back to us.”

“I don’t work for you, and I certainly don’t do Intelligence gruntwork.”

“We will analyze the data and decide what steps to take next,” Draven concluded as if she’d never spoken. He looked back at Cassian, who kept his face plain as could be. He was as thrilled about this as Jyn was. “Get going, the both of you.”

Cassian left the room without a word, sensing the Ersos fall into step behind him as he passed by. He led them back to their room.

“Get packed,” he said to Jyn. “Jedha is cold, so we’ll get you some gear before we leave.”

“I know what Jedha is,” Jyn snapped. “It’s a damn warzone.”

“Might not be any more,” Cassian stated hollowly. “You’ve got ten minutes. I’ll be in my quarters.”

He left her there, glaring at him, and sent a message off to Kay as he began walking back to his room. Galen Erso followed.

“Erso,” he acknowledged, wondering what the man was doing and what he needed.

“I have a question about this assignment,” Erso said.

“We can speak in my quarters.”

When they arrived and Cassian had closed the door, Erso suddenly grabbed him by the jacket and shoved him against the wall with as much strength as the aging man could muster.

“What did you do to my daughter?” he demanded. Cassian opened his mouth, ready with a lie…

…and found he didn’t have one to offer.

“I was assigned as Krennic’s biographer,” he said, offering Jyn’s father as much as he could. “I had no part in the marriage scheme.”

With surprising strength, Erso moved Cassian away from the wall and slammed him back into it. “You did something, Andor. I know you did. _What did you do?_ ”

Cassian badly wanted to lie. His mind was screaming at him to. But he just couldn’t. Not to Jyn’s father.

“I cared about her,” he admitted. “When I shouldn’t have.”

(It wasn’t like he was going to admit to the man that he’d slept with his daughter. That was inappropriate on so many levels, and Erso looked ready to kill him anyhow.)

“You hurt my Stardust,” Erso said. “You hurt my little girl.”

“I know that. I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t _mean_ to?”

Was he mocking him?

“You didn’t know that your lies would hurt her?” Erso continued. “Or did you not think that far ahead? What kind of Intelligence agent are you? Are you that poor at your job?” He pressed Cassian harder into the wall and grit his teeth. “Or were you thinking with something else?”

Great, so Erso knew. Cassian had underestimated him.

“I’m sorry,” Cassian said. “That’s all I can offer you. I have no excuse.” He stopped, out of words to say. “She’s Jyn.”

Erso let him go then, and he stepped back and nodded. “That she is,” he said in a gentler tone. “Jyn is Jyn, my fiery little girl. You don’t deserve her, Andor, not after what you did.”

Cassian nodded back. “I know that, sir.”

Erso just stared at him for a moment, taking the measure of him. “Take good care of her tomorrow. Don’t you dare let anything happen to her.”

“For all my alias was on Coruscant,” Cassian said, “it was always my duty to protect her. I promise I will.”

Jyn’s father nodded again, tightly, and he left the room. Cassian shut the door behind him, and he tried not to think about the last words that had left his mouth, and how eerily sincere they had sounded.

\---

They took a U-wing this time. It wasn’t comfortable for a long trip, but it was going to have to do. Cassian had certainly been in worse for longer.

Jyn was still glowering. She hadn’t stopped since Draven had assigned her to this mission.

Now they were going on missions together?

She had a blaster now, too.

 _His_ blaster.

“You don’t watch your things, Captain, they get stolen,” she’d said with a shrug when he asked where, exactly, she’d come up with it. “Surely being a Rebel, you learned that early on.”

He had. Still, she was slippery.

“She’s liable to shoot you with that,” Kay said from the cockpit as Cassian stalked up to it. “I would say it’s likely. Probable, even.”

Cassian dropped into the pilot’s seat and glared at the droid, then picked up his headset and put it on. “Just get clearance from ground control and get us out of here.”

\---

Another thing Cassian prided himself on was his ability to wait. He had a very high tolerance for waiting, and a high level of patience. He could wait anybody out.

But staring out at hyperspace, with Jyn’s glare burning holes in his back, made him itchy. A few hours into the journey, and he could stand no more of it. He unstrapped, squeezed through the narrow opening between the pilot and co-pilots’ seats, and walked back to where Jyn was sitting in the hold of the ship. She immediately pounced.

“There’s no reason I should be going with you on this, Captain Andor.”

“It’s a compliment,” Cassian said, ignoring how her use of his rank made something in his body spark. Even though she was clearly doing it to rankle him. “From Draven.”

“It’s unnecessary.”

“I agree.”

“I agree as well,” Kaytoo put in.

That made her deflate a little, but the fire still burned hot and bright in her green eyes.

“Would you like to discuss the mission,” Cassian said calmly, “or would you like to yell at me some more?”

“Why can’t we do both?” Jyn replied, and despite himself, Cassian had to glance down at his datapad to hide a smile. “Why does Draven need me to do _your_ job? Does he not pay you enough that he has to contract it out?”

“No one could pay me enough to do this job. No one in their right mind would do it.”

Silence fell heavy and thick on the ship after the words left his mouth, and Cassian suddenly found himself regretting them. Where had they come from? What had come over him? That was too close to opening himself up to someone, too, _too_ close. He kept his eyes down, scrolling through his datapad as if he’d said nothing of any importance, hoping Jyn wouldn’t notice his words. But he felt her eyes on him, felt her…felt her kriffing _pity_ , and his mouth tightened.

“We’ll surveil from a distance first,” Cassian continued. “Land far from NiJedha – ”

“Why do you do it?” Jyn interrupted quietly.

Cassian closed his mouth. Forcibly kept his muscles relaxed. Slowly brought his eyes up to hers.

Yes. There it was. The pity.

“If I don’t do it,” he said tightly, “then who will?”

Maybe the statement was too hard. The silence following it was, somehow, even worse.

Cassian looked back at his datapad and plowed on. “The distance should allow us to – ”

“Is this what you wished for?” she interrupted again. Cassian’s other hand came up to grip the datapad now.

“I didn’t have a choice,” he snapped. “I’ve been in this fight since I was six years old. I lost everything. What else could I do? Not all of us had the choice to just sit back and live a life of luxury while people around them suffered, while they got everything they wanted. You could have done something.”

Jyn’s expression didn’t change. Why was she so calm? When he was so angry?

“ _I_ could have?” she said. “So you resent me?”

Kriff. He’d slipped. Why couldn’t he be himself around her? _The perfect spy,_ Draven had called him once, in one of his proudest moments. The general’s heavy hand had landed on young Cassian’s shoulder. _The perfect soldier. I’m proud of you, Andor. The Rebellion needs you more than it ever has._

Cassian lowered his eyes again, ashamed of his outburst. “No,” he said quietly. “You didn’t know.”

Suddenly he felt very tired then, felt the weight of every one of his twenty-six years, every mission. He turned away.

“I need to go check on our course,” he said. It was a weak lie, but he needed to get away from her. “We’ll discuss this later.”

With that, he escaped to the cockpit, feeling her stare on him again all the way there. It was different than last time, and he didn’t know which was worse: her hate or her compassion.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian start to understand one another. Then they try to outwit one another. And then they share a space on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just gonna go ahead and apologize here for messing with the timeline to make it fit for my fic. But I figure, the movie completely ignored hyperspace travel times, so why can’t I? And anyway, this is an AU, soooo…let’s just say it all works. XD
> 
> Also, Baze/Bodhi/Chirrut are alive somehow. Not sure yet how, or if I’ll even be able to work it in. But they’re totally alive. Always. <3
> 
> P.S. Oh, hey, is there some Captain Kink in here? Why yes, I think there is… ;)

As it turned out, they didn’t need to even land when they arrived at Jedha. In fact, they couldn’t. The destruction was clear from space. It was as if a massive fist had reached in and wrenched a piece of the planet away. The innards poured out into space. A whole section of it was gone. Jyn stood behind Cassian’s seat, staring out at the destruction.

All three of them were silent.

Her hand slid onto his shoulder, and she squeezed. He didn’t react. Maybe he didn’t even feel it.

“The Death Star did this,” she said as loud as she dared, as if speaking its name would bring it back.

“Yes,” Cassian said. He leaned forward then and began tapping coordinates into the navicomputer. Jyn didn’t remove her hand, and he didn’t do anything about it. So she continued letting it rest there, even when he leaned back in the seat after he’d finished with the coordinates. “We need to get back home right away.”

He launched the ship into hyperspace, and still, Jyn had her hand on his shoulder.

\---

Halfway through the trip, Cassian got a message from Draven. After he concluded it, he went back to the cockpit and started hitting buttons on the control board again.

“I’m dropping us back out of hyperspace,” he explained. “We need to go to Alderaan. Weems heard more chatter.”

He didn’t need to explain any more.

\---

They had a few days before they’d reach Alderaan, and when it came time for ship’s night, Jyn did what they’d done the previous night and dragged scratchy blankets and flat pillows to a corner of the cold ship and made up as soft and cozy a nest as she could, then tried to get comfortable. It was past 2330, and she should be tired – she _was_ tired – but she couldn’t sleep. She closed her eyes, but that just made her hearing more acute, and all she did was listen to the sounds of the ship and, even worse, Cassian and Kay conversing in low voices.

Mostly she listened to Cassian.

She still didn’t know him very well, but she was learning things about him. For one thing, he was extremely considerate. He dimmed the lights the minute she settled into her nest. The ship was small, and he wasn’t a loud speaker anyway, but he took care to lower his voice further when she went to bed. He rotated between Basic, Festian, Huttese, Rodian, and the language he’d used with her that morning in the kitchen (which she tried very hard not to think about) as he talked to Kay. She wondered if he was keeping up on the languages, keeping in practice.

He never laughed. He never smiled. But he did sigh. And he always looked tired.

Cassian glanced at her when he thought she wasn’t looking, and he usually looked sad.

Cassian was economical with words, and he never gave anything away. His face was always a neutral mask, nothing showing through it. He was armed at all times, even while in hyperspace on a secure ship. He was smart, sharp, shrewd. Creative, a quick-thinker. He worked constantly, restlessly, and he thought of everyone and everything else before himself. He always put himself last. The Rebellion meant everything, _everything_ to him, and maybe, just maybe…what he did on Coruscant _wasn’t_ so bad. Jyn watched him in these moments where she stuffed herself in a corner and tried to rest but couldn’t, when he thought she wasn’t looking but was (or maybe he knew; he knew everything), and she realized…he fascinated her. She realized…he _wasn’t_ a bad person (but he thought he was).

She realized…she forgave him.

\---

Jyn didn’t even know she’d slipped into sleep until she heard Cassian’s soft tread making its way back toward her. He took his stack of blankets and began to make up his corner of the ship, and after a moment, he lay down, sighed, and was still. It was dark and quiet, Kaytoo up ahead in the cockpit monitoring the ship or whatever he did. For a moment, Jyn just let the silence linger.

It was comfortable.

“Captain,” she whispered.

“What?” he whispered back, at which point she realized she had nothing to say. She thought quick, making something up on the fly.

“What time is it?”

“Quarter to three.”

“Oh. Late.”

“Yes.”

She paused. She didn’t want that to be the end. There was more, but she didn’t know what she wanted to say. Finally, she found something.

“Are you cold?” she asked.

“Yes,” he answered.

Boldly, Jyn got up from her spot and, dragging her blankets and miserable pillows with her, crossed over to him and dropped down next to him. Heart beating hard, she tossed the blankets over both of them.

“Now you’re not,” she whispered. She lay down on her side away from him, her heart thundering so hard in her chest it was almost making her shake (her, Jyn Erso!), and folded her hands under her head ( _anything_ to give her a little more support on those awful pillows!). She closed her eyes, and she breathed a silent, shaky breath out.

Waiting. Waiting in the cold darkness.

Then Cassian shifted, rolling to his side toward her, his hand coming up first onto her waist, then his arm going around her and pulling her close. He sighed again as his chin met the crook of her neck.

“Goodnight, Jyn,” he said drowsily.

“’Night, Captain,” she murmured, feeling herself start to slip into the warm haze of sleep.

“Jyn?”

“Mm.”

“Call me Cassian.”

Jyn smiled, feeling warm despite the chill of the ship. “Okay.” She shifted back a little, moving closer to him. “It’s a nice name.”

Cassian breathed out warm against her neck, and his lips brushed her skin. “Jyn,” he said, his voice suddenly, somehow, beautiful to her ears. They breathed in time, the lull right before falling deep asleep.

“I like ‘Captain Andor’ too,” Jyn whispered, her eyes so heavy.

She could feel Cassian’s smile as he huffed a quiet laugh out through his nose. “You do, do you?”

“Rank turns me on,” she said without thinking, and she would’ve stiffened in embarrassment, but then she realized she was too tired to care, and…maybe she wanted him to know. Just a little.

“Does it?” Then his lips _definitely_ kissed her skin, and his hand rubbed down her arm.

Jyn’s heart began to pick up speed, her breaths shallower in her chest, and she felt the heat under the blankets begin to grow. Cassian shifted his lower body against her. It was clear this turned him on as much as it did her. She’d found a trigger point for him.

But she shut it down, and so did he, simultaneously. She didn’t encourage him to move further, and he didn’t take it further, as if there were some tacit agreement. They both knew not to cross the line again. Still, Jyn found it hard not think about having sex with him, and to put the times they’d been intimate before out of her mind. It made her giddy, made her cheeks flush.

Worse, now she couldn’t fall asleep.

But like a typical man, Cassian, totally unfairly, could.

\---

Morning brought about shyness and hesitant touches, brushing past one another and tentative smiles. Kay became surly within approximately one hour.

“No one is listening to me,” he complained. “I am talking and no one is listening.”

“We’re listening, Kay,” Cassian said, eyes snapping away from Jyn’s and little smile disappearing. Had he ever referred to them as _we_ before? His fingers drifted along Jyn’s hand as he walked back toward the cockpit. “I’ll review the briefs now. Thank you.”

Jyn settled into her seat, watching the pair interact. Eventually she got bored and pulled out the datapad Intelligence had let her borrow, working through some exercises they’d set her up with. Cassian, it turned out, already knew about her penchant for falsifying documents in school – be it IDs to get into bars or clubs, or onto an invite list to a fancy party – and had passed that information along to Intelligence, who had then, naturally, put her to work for them. Now they wanted her to get up to speed on _military_ documents, and forge that shavit for them as well.

Unbelievable.

The best part about all of this, though, was that Cassian had put a passcode on his datapad thinking she couldn’t break it and he could keep her out, and she’d broken it in the time it had taken him to wash up for the morning in the ’fresher (which, admittedly, had seemed like a very long time). When he came back out, he didn’t even glance at the device, and he was none the wiser. Jyn gloated to herself, thinking about how he needed to take his opinion of his competence down a notch.

When it came time for them to eat lunch, Cassian handed her a ration bar and sat in the seat next to her. They chatted about the document forging, and then they shared a companionable silence as they ate. Jyn got the distinct impression that Kay was watching them.

After the meal, Cassian again went back to the cockpit with the droid, and Jyn returned to her datapad. She found it harder to concentrate than before. She wanted…she wanted to talk to Cassian. Get to know him a little. Be near him. In his presence. In his space.

Touch him.

She _needed_ …

Jyn tucked her cold fingers under her arms and shivered, trying not to think about the night ahead. _Would_ he…?

No. Last night was probably a fluke. He was acting different toward her, yes, but she couldn’t – shouldn’t – expect that tonight would be a repeat. Much as she wanted it to be.

Still, as the hour got late and she started yawning, she headed to the ’fresher to wash up, her mind full of images of them huddled together in one nest of blankets. She wanted his warmth near her again, the solidness and realness of his body pressed against her. When she came out of the ’fresher, he was still in the cockpit. She felt a pang of disappointment.

Still, she made up her bed in her corner and lay down on the hard deck, closing her eyes, blowing out a breath, and preparing for the uncomfortable night ahead. She hated sleeping on cold, metal ships’ decks already. Even those thin excuses for mattresses the Rebel base had were better than this (almost anything had to be).

Jyn wasn’t lying there long before footsteps walked toward the aft of the ship, before she heard blankets dropping on the ground next to her. She smiled as she heard Cassian shifting around behind her. Soon, he lay down, but he didn’t fit his body to hers like last night.

For a moment, it was silent.

“I know about the datapad,” he said.

“Oh?” she replied.

“You think you broke my code.”

“I did.”

“I deliberately left it there with a code I thought you might be able to break, then gave you time to break it. You’re good.”

Jyn flipped over onto her other side, eyes narrowed. Cassian looked blank as always, the picture of innocence, even. Her fist clenched.

“You set me up,” she said.

“I was testing you,” he said.

Jyn smacked his shoulder with the back of her hand. “Jerk.”

He just smiled and rolled over onto his other side, away from her. Jyn shook her head and lay back down, moving closer to him. Fine, if he wanted to play games, she could play games. They’d done this before; she could do it again.

“Very well, _Captain_ ,” she said, dragging the backs of her fingers down his side. An involuntary shiver raced over him, and a victorious smile curved up her lips. She moved even closer to him, fitting her body to his, curving around his curves. Her knees bent up behind his, forcing his hips in line with hers. He was very still. Jyn lowered her voice and spoke her words over the skin of his neck. “Any other tests for me? I want to be ever so useful to General Draven.”

Cassian twitched, harder this time, and his hand came up to brush at his neck where her breath had been. He turned over onto his back, and Jyn sucked in a silent breath at how close their faces suddenly were. If he had something he had planned on saying, it died there, and he didn’t respond. Jyn reached her hand out tentatively and laid her fingertips on his cheekbone. He stared up at her, curious. Calculating.

“You’re so thin,” she wound up saying quietly, and that was just…not what she meant to say. “How many days have you gone without eating?”

“Too many,” Cassian replied, his voice gravelly. He cleared his throat. Swallowed. His forehead creased, and still, he stared at her. “Suddenly the Rebellion is real to you.”

Jyn’s eyes left his in shame, and her fingers on his face curled into a fist.

“No, I-I don’t mean…” he started, his hand covering hers. It was such a little touch, but it was as if he couldn’t bear to lose that. Jyn raised her eyes back to his, and she moved her hand away to his shoulder. Her index finger drifted up and down his neck in slow strokes. Cassian still didn’t move a muscle. Jyn was afraid to breathe, lest she break the moment.

“Touch me,” she finally whispered, when she could take it no longer.

“Jyn – ”

Metal clanking sounded on the flooring as Kaytoo approached them, and they sprang apart. “I thought you were supposed to be sleeping back here,” he said.

“We are,” Cassian said, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eye. “What do you need, Kay?”

“We’ll be at Alderaan tomorrow morning,” the droid said. He looked from Cassian to Jyn and stared disconcertingly at her.

“Thank you,” Cassian said. “I’ll be up by then. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” The droid turned and walked back to the cockpit. Jyn glanced at Cassian, but he wasn’t looking at her.

“Is he your nanny, too?” she asked.

Cassian let out a short laugh. “He means well.”

“Mm. How do you pick women up around him?”

“You think I’m the sort of man who picks up women?”

Jyn gave him a smile and settled back to the deck. She was surprised to find that somehow, his arms were around her pulling her close. “Maybe not.”

She relaxed into his embrace, and she fell asleep moments later.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alderaan. Cassian does not take it well. Later, he and Jyn have some time alone in a room at an inn, where they discuss it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussion of suicide

They dropped out of hyperspace into an asteroid field.

“What the – ?” Cassian said, slapping switches and gripping the controls as the ship bucked with an impact. “Kay!”

“Our position is correct,” Kay said. “This asteroid field is on no chart.”

Jyn’s fingers tightened on Cassian’s headrest. “Where’s Alderaan, then?” she asked, a cold, hollow feeling in her chest.

Cassian swore. “The Empire got here first. It’s gone. _Kriff._ ” He pulled the ship around hard and accelerated them away from the asteroids, heading for open space. “We need to get out of here. Now.”

As they pulled hard for space, Jyn looked around, searching for the Death Star. In the distance, she spotted what looked like a small moon. “There,” she said, pointing. “Look.”

Cassian glanced up. “Kay…coordinates. Now.”

“I haven’t finished making my calculations for lightspeed,” Kay replied.

“I’ll make them for you,” Cassian replied tersely before pulling the lever. Stars streaked into starlines, and the ship shot to safety.

\---

The ship was quiet, very quiet, for a long time after they entered hyperspace. Even Kay didn’t speak. Finally, Cassian unstrapped without a word and walked to the back of the ship. Jyn watched as he began going through a locker back there, sorting through gear.

She approached him. “There’s nothing we – ”

 _“Damn!”_ he shouted as he slammed the metal door shut. _“Damn, damn, damn!”_

With each word, he slammed his fist into the ragged corner of the locker, then once more, leaving a small streak of blood behind. He turned toward her, hands on the sides of his head. His knuckles were bloodied and torn up.

“We could have stopped this,” he said. “We were too late.”

“We couldn’t have – ”

“What does that matter?!” he exploded. “What does that excuse mean to billions of dead Alderaanians? Your father _built this_!”

Jyn’s lips compressed. “Because he knew they would do it without him. He told me he built a flaw into it so we can destroy it – ”

“We should have been faster. _I_ should have been faster. I should have stopped this. I should have done more. This is on me.”

“Cassian,” Kay broke in. Jyn turned to see the imposing droid coming toward them. “Hand me your weapons.”

Cassian’s head came up. “I’m fine, Kay.”

“Protocol Aurek-Two-Senth. Hand me your weapons.”

But Cassian just held his hand up. “Kay – ”

The droid took a step toward him and raised his vox modulator. “I have analyzed your words and combined with your vital signs, I am enacting Protocol Aurek-Two-Senth. Hand me your weapons now, or I will take them by force.”

Cassian’s jaw clenched tight, and Jyn watched him, the tension in the small vessel making her heart pound. _Do it,_ she thought, even though she didn’t entirely know what was going on. _Just do it. Listen to him._

Cassian’s shoulders slumped in defeat. He yanked his blaster out of his holster, pulled his vibroblade out of his boot, and handed them to Kay. The droid held his other hand out.

“Your jacket,” he said.

 _Jacket?_ Jyn wondered.

“Your lullaby.”

Jyn’s heart slammed hard against her ribcage. She averted her eyes as Cassian took off his jacket and handed it over to the droid as he walked past on his way back to the cockpit.

She spent the rest of the hyperspace jump in her corner.

\---

Their first jump was a short one to Commenor, which had had a Rebel underground movement for a good ten years. Cassian said they needed fuel and supplies, and they should be safe there for a bit. Kay stayed on the ship while Cassian got everything set up. When he climbed back in, he rubbed his eyes with his fingers. Jyn tried not to look at the bandage wrapped around his knuckles.

“We’re far down on the list,” he said. “It’ll be at least a day, but we’ll be safe till then. Just have to leave right away after that and not push our luck.”

Jyn peered closely at him. “You’re tired.”

“Always.”

“There an inn at this spaceport?”

“I would imagine.”

“Then let’s go.”

She sensed him getting ready to argue, but he followed her anyway, picking up his duffle on the way out of the ship. They paid too much money for too small and too old a room, but it was clean and had a real bed.

“You use the shower first,” Jyn said, pointing at the refresher. “You’ll feel better.”

This time, he didn’t even gather his arguments together.

\---

Cassian came out of the ’fresher a short while later, a coarse white towel wrapped around his waist. Jyn tried not to stare, but he seemed unabashed by his half-nakedness. It was bizarre, but maybe he was just too tired to care. Jyn took her turn in the ’fresher and came out fifteen minutes later with her own towel around her torso. She found Cassian lying back against the pillows, looking at his datapad. Jyn folded her leg under her and sat down on the bed next to him.

“Leave it for tonight,” she said gently. “Just for tonight. Tomorrow we’ll go back to fighting.”

The hand holding the datapad dropped to the coverlet, and his eyes met hers. They looked so… _sad_. Impossibly sad. She had never seen that sadness in a person before, not even in her parents' eyes on Coruscant.

“Cassian,” she said, leaning forward and cupping his face in her palm. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do it. The Empire did.”

“They’re all gone,” he said. “Dead. Without a second thought.”

“Why was Kay worried about you? What’s Protocol Aurek-Two-Senth?”

Cassian looked down in a gesture she now knew was how he responded to shame. “Don’t ask me that, Jyn.”

“What can I do?” she asked firmly. She was starting to get frustrated, and her own tears pressed painfully against the backs of her eyes.

“There’s nothing you _can_ do,” he replied. “What can be done that is going to change what happened? What use am I? It's like everything I've done has been for nothing.”

Jyn grit her teeth and gripped the sides of his head. “Cassian, Cassian…stop it. Listen to me: stop it. _This is not your fault._ You had nothing to do with it.”

He wrenched his head free from her grip and looked away, his arms crossed.

“Fine,” Jyn said, climbing off the bed and going to her duffle to grab a change of clothes. “Push away help. I guess that’s what’s worked well for you in the past. That’s very obvious.”

From behind her came one of his long, weary sighs. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. Jyn turned around and came back to the bed, slowly sinking onto it again next to him. “I’m so angry, Jyn. Is all of this worth fighting for?”

 _“Yes,”_ she insisted. “You’re a good man, Cassian.”

He snorted and looked away again. “Your father doesn’t think so.”

Jyn drew back, stunned. “What?”

Cassian’s eyes met hers again. The anger was still there. “He’s right. I don’t deserve you. What I did, crossing the line, betraying you, is unforgiveable. You’re light, and I’m dark.”

“This isn’t sides of the Force.”

“He’s not wrong.”

“You did it to help the Rebellion.”

His eyebrows went up, a derisive smile on his face. “Oh, so suddenly it’s okay?” He shook his head, and his expression hurt, but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. The hate was directed at himself. “Everything I’ve done, it’s all excusable? Sabotage, murder, assassination, leaving my own people behind, deceit, betrayal, things I couldn’t even tell you that you’d never even believe – ”

Jyn leaned forward and cut him off with her lips to his, breathing in deep as she kissed him. He didn’t kiss her back, but he didn’t push her away. When Jyn broke from him, she leaned her forehead against his.

“You’re a good man,” she whispered again, “and I’ve fallen for you, Captain.”

Cassian was rigid, as unmoving as a statue carved from the hardest known material in the galaxy. “Jyn,” he whispered back, “no.”

Jyn smoothed her hands up and down his neck, then cupped his jaw. “I have and there’s nothing you can do about it,” she said before kissing him again. This time he reciprocated, his arms uncrossing to wrap around her bare shoulders. The rough scratch of the bandage on his hand scuffed her skin. She swiftly threw her leg over his thighs and climbed onto his lap, and she raised her body up just slightly so that he could kiss her neck.

When she met his lips again, he murmured, “Please don’t. Please don’t, Jyn.”

But she just reached to the twist of her towel and loosened it, then shrugged the coarse material off to leave herself naked before him. “Make love to me, Cassian.”

His palms ran up her back to her shoulders again before he sat up with her, kissing her deeply as he did so. Jyn’s hands roved over his back, too, and down his torso. When they met the twist of his own towel, she started to undo it. Then she looked down, and so did he, watching her hands work. She opened the towel to free his cock, already half-hard and so tempting. Jyn scooted backward down his legs, tucked her hair behind her ear, and bent to him. He sucked in a breath when he slid into her mouth, and already he began to harden further. She was gentle with him, going slow, and he combed his fingers through her damp hair, keeping it out of her face. When she increased the pressure and added her hand to his base, he leaned his head back against the headboard.

After another few moments, she pulled off of him and dragged her body up his to kiss his lips.

“Thank you,” he said, kissing her just as gently as she’d kissed him. “Can I taste you now?”

Jyn nodded and moved to get off him and lie on her back, but he stopped her.

“No,” he said. “Just like this.”

Curious, she stayed where she was, while he slid under her body until his face was between her legs. This was something she’d never experienced before, and her mouth and eyes opened wide in surprise. Cassian took a firm hold on her hips with his hands, and the moment his tongue brushed her wet, throbbing center, she grabbed onto the headboard.

His tongue, she realized, was a weapon in more ways than one.

He licked all over her, from the sensitive insides of her thighs to her clit to every hidden part of her. It only aroused her further, sent more and more blood and wetness down to the area, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. It was incredible, intense…

_Mind-blowing._

And she hadn’t even _come_ yet.

She was getting close, starting to tighten, when Cassian moved away, sat up, sliding his hands up her body. He pulled her down onto her back and she went down with a gasp, and then he was throwing her leg over his shoulder and between her legs once more, his lips and tongue even more intense than before. Jyn pushed her hips insistently at him, her face pinching with her need for release. Cassian held her down hard with one arm while he slid a finger from his other hand inside her. He rubbed at the spot until Jyn’s body burned, her hips desperately trying to arch up, but his grip was firm. She repeated his name over and over.

“Almost there?” he asked breathlessly.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

And just when she thought she would never get there, because the pleasure was almost _too_ much, she felt the sharp sweetness of it and crested, crying out as she fell off the peak. Cassian was quick to act, moving up and over her and pushing his cock deep inside her, thrusting hard to draw the orgasm out longer. Jyn could barely react, choking on sobs of pleasure from the intensity of it.

She had never come that hard in her life.

Cassian slowed down when her waves receded, when she stopped clenching his cock so hard. He kissed her as he moved in and out of her, slow, deep thrusts. Jyn raised her legs around him and crossed her ankles at his back, her arms around his neck, wanting him closer.

She’d never wanted someone so _much_ before.

She’d never…she’d never… _she’d never…_

“Cassian,” Jyn said, voice breaking and holy stars above, she had tears in her eyes. “I think I’m in love with you.”

 _“Fuck,”_ he said, and her eyes widened because she was certain, with a response like that, that she’d done something wrong. But he just slid his fingers into her hair, touched his nose to hers, and said, “I’m in love with you, too.”

They kissed hard, deep, Jyn holding onto his wrists as he cradled her head between his strong, capable hands. Another tide of pleasure was building up inside her. Cassian pulled away, breathing hard.

“Can I come inside you?” he asked.

“Yes,” Jyn replied. “Can you wait?”

“A little, yeah.” He sat back on his legs and pulled her closer to him by her thighs, then moved his hands to her waist and gripped tight. Jyn reached down to rub at herself and bring herself closer, faster. She clenched around him, focusing. Cassian groaned at the feeling, measuring his pace and clearly trying to hold himself back. His breath kept catching.

“I’m almost there,” Jyn said, eyes closed tight.

Cassian swore. “Jyn, I can’t…”

But she gripped his wrist tight where his hand dug into her flesh. “No. Don’t come yet. Wait for me.”

_“Jyn.”_

She opened her hazy eyes, her cheeks burning as she got so close, _so close_. Desperation etched itself across Cassian’s face.

“Please let me come,” he whispered.

“I want to see you,” she replied.

His body shuddered as he held back a second, two, three longer. Jyn sucked a sudden breath in as the peak of her orgasm caught her.

“Now,” she said. “Now, now. Come. Come now.”

He pushed himself rough and hard in her, deep as he could go, a handful of times, and she watched as he broke apart while she did too, his face clenched with pleasure as he bent over her body, nails roughly dragging across her skin. She listened to his groan as he rocked into her, relishing the sound of his ecstasy.

Finally, their tremors subsided, and Cassian leaned over to kiss Jyn. They gently kissed until he was soft enough to slip out of her, and then she turned him over and lay on his chest, smiling down at him with her chin on her arm. His hand played with her hair, and his eyes, for once, didn’t look haunted. They both were sweaty and sticky and messy and they should clean up, but she didn’t care.

For now, she was happy. And that was something she had not felt in a very, very long time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian return to Yavin 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, people, get ready for some fluff finally. I wanted to fit in the Captain Kink smut scene here, but I couldn’t. :( If I get a chance, I’ll try to write it in the prompts part! (I know, still need to write the ones in my askbox. But I figured you guys would want me to post the ending first!)

_Cassian_

 

Jyn fell asleep before Cassian did. She fell asleep on his chest with his arm wrapped around her. They’d taken turns using the ’fresher, then gotten back into the bed and curled up with one another. Sleep stole Jyn from Cassian quickly, and he lay awake in the darkness, thinking. Always thinking.

They would go back to the Alliance tomorrow. Share the intel they had from Jedha and Alderaan. Hope the Death Star wouldn’t come after them next, but he knew the Empire would be doing everything it could to find the location of Rebel headquarters and destroy it. The Rebellion’s only hope was Galen Erso and his schematics.

Cassian looked down at Jyn in his arms and caressed her hair. She was precious to him now, and he would do anything to protect her. When she’d confessed her love for him, he’d wanted to say, _“Don’t. Don’t, Jyn, I beg you. You can’t be. I can’t love you back. I can’t love anyone.”_ But something else, some other part of him, had pushed its way to the front and said, _“I love you, too.”_ He didn’t know what future there was for them, and if she even wanted to be part of his future – Kay was right, he truly had _nothing_ to offer her – but he hoped that she would stay by his side and _choose_ , this time, to be with him.

He stroked his fingers back through her hair again, held her tighter, and closed his eyes.

\---

_Jyn_

“This is grave news indeed,” Draven said when Cassian had reported everything. “The Alliance is in mortal peril. We will have to find a way to track this weapon down and destroy it – if it doesn’t find us first. For now, we need to plan an attack on the battle station and review evacuation procedures with everyone. You’re dismissed.”

Cassian and Jyn left the war room and walked silently through the temple. She followed him to his quarters, where he excused himself, saying he needed to finish up his report. Jyn nodded, hovering awkwardly as she wondered if they were going to kiss goodbye or not, and then left when they didn’t. She went back to her room alone, and she wasn’t surprised to see her parents were not there. Draven would have her father busy ’round the clock, and Mama wouldn’t want to leave his side.

Jyn sat on her bunk and let out a sigh, clasping her hands and hunching forward as she thought about the past few days. Her mind traveled even further back in time, to when she’d met Cassian. She smiled, thinking of him, thinking of all the little things like how he’d sorted her mail, how strange his reaction had been to her sleeping with Corbin, his behavior at Krennic’s birthday party when he pulled her to the alcove. She bent down between her legs and pulled her duffle out from under the bunk, unzipping it and rooting around for her toiletries pouch.

There on the side, in a small zippered compartment, was her fake wedding ring.

She pocketed it, and she thought.

\---

Cassian commed her an hour later when he was finished with his report, and she retraced her steps back to his room.

“So this is your life,” Jyn said. “What it’s been like.”

Cassian nodded, switching off his datapad.

“It’s all I know,” he said.

“It’s so different from mine,” she said. “I don’t…I don’t know what it means.”

Cassian turned toward her, face blank except for the deep frown she was so used to. “You don’t have to. You have a choice.”

“I’d like to try,” she said, and she reached into her pocket and withdrew the ring. Holding it out in her shaky open palm, she said, “I don’t know where you got these, but I figured you might need them on a future mission…that Rebel Intelligence might need them, I mean, for an alias…undercover operation…”

He smiled then, reached into his pocket, and withdrew his own ring. Time seemed to stop in his little room.

“They were from Krennic,” he said. “Platinum. Very valuable.”

“They’d be a lot of help to the Rebellion,” Jyn said.

“They would.” He looked down and touched his ring with his index finger. “Or we could…do something else with them.”

Jyn stepped forward, took the ring from his palm, and gently took his left hand. She stretched up to kiss him as she pushed the circle onto his ring finger. When Cassian broke from the kiss, he was a little breathless, but not, she thought, from the brief, chaste kiss.

From nerves, she thought. Of all things, Cassian Andor was _nervous_.

Jyn slowly held her hand out to him, and she watched as he took the ring between his thumb and index finger, took her left hand in his left, and gently slid it onto her finger. Then he looked up at her, his beautiful brown eyes open, sincere…

Questioning. Doubtful.

“Jyn, I – ” he started, immediately stopped. “I don’t know…” He swallowed. “How to do these things. How to…how to be a…partner.”

She intertwined all of their fingers together. “Well,” she said, “I’ll have to divorce my old husband first. I don’t know how that’s going to go, seeing as I’ve been having an affair this whole time.”

“Hm,” he replied, mood visibly lightening. “Lieutenant Willix will probably be very angry. He really had a thing for you.”

Jyn nodded soberly. “I believe he did.” She stepped closer and put her lips to his ear. “I’ll tell him myself that it’s over, that I met this amazing man and we had the most incredible sex, that no one made love to me the way he did.”

“Is that so?”

“It is. It is so.”

A brief shiver ran over Cassian’s body, and he turned his head slightly toward her face, his stubble scuffing against her skin. “Tell me,” he said in a low voice.

“Well, you _are_ in the business of information. I can see how you’d want to know. Captain.”

He put his hands on her waist and began kissing down her neck. “Are you going to tell me freely, or do I have to find a way to make you talk?”

Jyn’s nerve endings tingled with excitement, and she smiled as she bared her neck to him, fingers tightening on his shoulders.

“You can’t _make me_ anything,” she replied.

“Really?” he said quietly before tipping her chin up with his fingers, his lips hovering near hers. “I can make you come.”

Jyn gasped. “That’s cheating – ”

But he was kissing her then, and she laughed and threw her arms around his neck. When they broke from the kiss, they leaned their foreheads together, and she was surprised to see him smiling, too. His thumbs rubbed circles on her waist through her clothes, and she thought about how _good_ it felt to be in his arms.

“I love you, Cassian,” she murmured.

“I love you, too,” he said. “It might take some time to get the Willix trail cleared up safely, but after that, if you still want…”

Jyn’s smile widened, her heart full of fondness for him. Even after everything, true lovemaking and confessions of love, he still didn’t think she was in this one hundred percent.

“I do want,” she said, her hand reaching up to cradle his face. “I very much want. You? Have you even ever allowed yourself to want something?”

The smile hadn’t left Cassian’s face, but it shrank a little, and the sadness returned to his eyes. But only a bit. “A new shirt, boots, a part for Kaytoo, a ship upgrade. Sweets I liked on a planet I visited only rarely, a contact to just give me information instead of making me work for it. A nice blanket. But no. Not things like this. I didn’t think…” He broke off, his voice failing him. Jyn let him be, waiting patiently for the words to find him, if he chose to share them with her. He kept eye contact with her the whole time, the mask gone, the true man behind it shining through clear as day. “I didn’t think I deserved those things. That they were for me. That I was…good enough for them.”

Jyn put her other hand on his face. “Cassian Andor, you will _always_ be good enough for those things.”

He smiled, and she felt his face shift under her hands as he did so.

But then it abruptly fell.

“Oh, shavit,” he said. “What are we going to tell your father?”

Jyn laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](https://thestarbirdfromtheashes.tumblr.com) for lots of RebelCaptain content and snippets of my WIPs! <3
> 
> If you like my work, I hope you’ll [subscribe to me as an author](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird)!

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